I vote use the china! My mother started using hers regularly not that long ago, and it's great. So keep it, but not under the bed.

Yeah, both my parents have a lot of STUFF. My dad collects stamps, and my mom is a bargain hunter (doesn't matter what is it, what matters is how good a DEAL it was!). But even stuff like the furniture, I think there's only one or two pieces I'd even possibly want. My mom has a couple of Hoosier cabinets/pie cabinet things, but they're just not my style. There's a wardrobe that was a great-grandmother's, but I can't really see lugging it to Seattle, and likewise I figure my sister will get the chair our great-grandfather made. Other than that? Photos is about it. Mom's not one for jewelry.

To be fair, there's a lot of fear about losing things

Oh, my mom knows she saves stuff for no reason. She's been really good about keeping the things that have meaning, and not the things -- like two dozen various china bunnies -- that don't anymore.

Like, we put all the pictures aside for her to go through a little at a time -- they've never been all in one place before. And my sister-in-law's taking the china, and we took a bunch of duplicate kitchen stuff found in the back of Mom's pantry.

I know I'd hate my kids passing judgement on what of my stuff is worth keeping.

Well, eventually they're the ones that have to make that judgement. My siblings and I have conversations with our parents about stuff they want to keep but that the 3 of us have no interest in having to deal with later. We'd rather they sell it now so they can do other things that they enjoy or gift it to someone that it would mean something to so that they can enjoy the happiness the gift-ee receives. And sure - there's a good chunk of "get rid of as much stuff as possible now so we aren't dealing with it later" that my siblings and I are operating under. We'd rather do it when they are both cognizant and when we can get the stories than when they are not operating with all of their faculties and dealing with "stuff" is another stressor.

Then again, after having gone through this with her parents and my dad's parents, our mom now meets us at the door with a roll of making tape and a marker and says, "Go claim three things." Our great-grandmothers china cabinet has all three of our names on the back.

We also went through all of the Christmas ornaments/decor as a family and each sibling chose pieces they wanted, we "auctioned" or "competed" for pieces we all wanted and Mom and Dad got to say "donate", "trash", or "keep" for the things we didn't want. We made a family event with food and drink. It was actually pretty fun and it reduced 15 boxes of Christmas ornaments at our parent's house to 3.

I know I'd hate my kids passing judgement on what of my stuff is worth keeping.

If you leave it all to them, though, what do you think is going to happen?

We'd rather do it when they are both cognizant and when we can get the stories than when they are not operating with all of their faculties and dealing with "stuff" is another stressor.

This.

I was just encouraging my Dad to get rid of his guns. None of us want them and he could get good money for them.

They've done it now with 2 households and know enough of what a pain it is to get it. Still they do not seem in any rush to start the downsizing. grr.

If you leave it all to them, though, what do you think is going to happen?

I'd rather deal with it after the fact than hear another elderly relative break down into tears and say "You just want me out of the way."

She *finally* showed up, near 1. And knows 15 different ways to heal it (shame bon didn't get to hear that--all my vaunted conversation training went out the window) but she was very helpful. As was bon.

My parents are up to date now. Concernedly gobsmacked about sums that up.

Now I need to tell my boss--my plan was to go into the office Wednesday, but my mother helpfully pointed out that right ankle injuries in a country where you drive on the right--not so simple. So I need to work that out. I thought the issue would be moving the laptop, but that seems simple now.

My sister has split my parents' possessions, and that might be reflected in their wills, which got updated when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I know for some reason I get my father's money and investments, but it's under my sister's name now, and she's supposed to give it to me upon his expiration, which is weird. But simple.