The past two nights I've had family anxiety dreams, but the first nights was so bad that I stayed home. I was disturbed and undone and I don't I is where it came from and I'll refuse to talk about it ever and never mind move along .

Having grown up with a family of alcoholics, they do a NUMBER on those closest to them. Have you ever checked out al-anon? Helps get some distance and with the bottomless rage and heartbreak which comes form dealing with a drinker.

Good for you, Brenda, for giving her a good loooong home, toe biting fluff and all.

Tonight I unpacked my workbench and assembled the drawers. And reorged/rearranged/cleaned part of the basement so I have a good place to assemble it and put it! The main may be a two person job- Joe & Sarah have already volunteered, with a gleam in their eyes: it has a vice.

Repacked some old boxes of stuff, tossed out some old vacuums and fans in the alley for the roving junk collectors.

Pleased with tonight's progress.

Very exciting, sara!

Hubby found two cheesecakes on the supermarket bakery discount rack. He was so moved by their plight that he brought them home, where they are fulfilling their destiny deliciously.

It's like this one: [link] Only composite/mdf is in the drawer bottoms. I'm going to use different handles if I can find ones to fit.

Good for him, Connie!

Learned Sunday that a cousin has a form of non-hodgkins lymphoma. He started chemo today. Not even going to go into how many things are fucked up about the situation and healthcare and I don't really know much, will leave that to his immediate family and the cancer specialist in the family (my brother.) And we just lost our uncle and he did TG with my aunt and of course didn't tell her, but now she's closest but she has a cold so can't visit but his dad is there and our uncle who has ridden a similar ride is planning on heading out for the worst of it and... All I'm going to ask is please no 'fuck cancer's for this. For reasons I cannot articulate or really understand and that make no sense (cause I do love my cousin Barry,) in this instance, it would actually infuriate me.

I hear you on that. I'm sorry that's happening.

That's a beautiful workbench.

And yay cheesecake.

oh sara, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say, but that just sounds super stressful for your whole family.

My pool re-opened and I got to swim. WOOT.

I listened to a most excellent Alain de Button podcast. I'm entirely enamoured.

Okey. I have to start folding clothes. Ugh.

I had so many things to say on your fb post that I didn't even start, Kat.

I think it is most stressful for the parents (aunts and uncles) cause you know, your kids. And with just having lost the first member of their generation- it's been 23 years since the last of their parents died- I think they are really freaked out and taking it hard. I mean, Barry's got to be 50 now (damn, he & Brian don't look it), but we're THE KIDS. We're supposed to be dealing with their mortality and aging brains, not vice versa. But hey, we're rallying. Like I said, my Uncle Charlie is prepped to abandon to farm for the worst part, having done it himself. Another cousin who is a SAHM, but also a trained vet and farmgirl and mentioned uncle's daughter and nursemaid for the worst of his chemo, is ready to abandon her kids (her husband is on board and ready to take FMLA) should he need it. We don't see or talk to each other often enough, we're spread all over, we annoy the fuck out of each other at times, but we're still good & close crises or just reunion.

I'm sorry about your cousin and the stress, sarameg, and about Gracie, Brenda.

I want everyone to listen to the podcast. It's bending my mind and I really like it quite a lot. My friend Matt is a Presbyterian minister. He posted something about people who say they are spiritual vs. religious. And some of the people pushed back on that. I commented about being more religious than spiritual. Then for epiphany, he wrote a sermon about this whole thing. And I've been still thinking about it and I finally got around to the On Being podcast.