X-post: I'm sorry to hear your mom posted nasty comments.

Heh. I'm mostly amused but slightly mortified that she posted them where Tim's family could read them. (Actually, no -- addressed one of them TO Tim's SiL.) One comment was on a post about the bridal shower, and mom addressed it to SiL, saying "Thank you for taking Stephanie under your wing, even though she's a real pain!"

Classy, lady. Classy.

Another one was a comment on a picture my aunt posted of the shower, saying "I don't know why Tim's family puts up with her!" (Uh, my mom posted that, not my aunt. My aunt just posted the picture.)

I didn't even realize until I was in my 30s that healthy families don't actually treat each other that way. But I get it. I get her. She hates not being the center of attention, and while she more or less behaved perfectly well at the shower (other than taking literally 135 candid photos, 4 of which are somewhat flattering), sooner or later her need to be the center of attention was going to come out.

And I don't actually even think she deliberately does it -- she doesn't think "I'm going to insult my daughter in public so that it takes away from her enjoyment of her only bridal shower!" I think she just thinks she's teasing or being funny or something, but...really? Insult me TO Tim's family?

Stay classy, lady. Stay classy.

Oh Steph, I am so impressed that you can take the high road with her acting like that. I'd be so tempted to get angry at her. But your reaction is so much healthier.

I think my replies to her in the FB threads were as follows:

Mom: "blah blah she is a real pain..."
Me: "Actually, I am a bottomless fountain of PURE DELIGHT."

Mom: "I don't know why Tim's family puts up with her!"
Me: "They put up with me because I am a delight and they love me."

You are a delight.

My mother's family members, particularly the men, practiced teasing of a vicious nature, which is probably one reason why my mother has no self esteem. I am not particularly sorry that they're almost all dead.

Teppy, you are delightful and also incredibly understanding to your mother. I'm so sorry she treats you that way.

Teppy, you are certainly a delight. And Tim's family are smart enough to enjoy your delightful qualities, as are we here. And I bet you find the syntax of that sentence interesting; I certainly did.

Ugh, Steph. Your mother sounds like my oldest sister.

Or my FiL.

Steph, you are a delight, and the world is richer for your presence.