I'm so glad she was there for him.

and the worst-case scenario thing - I do it a lot. and I have as long as I can remember. For me it lets me feel like there is a plan or 6 in place, so I can deal with what is happening.

I wasn't bullied, but a number of my friends were. I know why - sort of. but it didn't make sense. They didn't fit in the average mode, but I just didn't really see why that mattered

Connie, insent.

erin,

But I was consistently excluded by the girls i considered my friends. To this day I will not throw a party.

You know, reading all of that is kind of a catharsis for me. I was excluded when I was a kid. I was much younger tho (age 7). I got invited to a couple of small get togethers and then when I'd arrive at the house, my "friends" already had left without me. My mother was convinced, living in a White neighborhood, that there was a racial exclusionary aspect to it. Which I suppose could have been true. Regardless, it made me feel like shit.

I also had bullshit happen to me when I was in jr high school. One friend of mine put me on hold when I called to talk to her to answer the door. It was a friend of hers who did not like me at all. I could hear her friend over the phone talking shit about me - and I know she did so because she knew I was on hold. She proceeded to keep me on hold for a longass time. I'm not sure if I hung up or if I was just curious how long she'd keep me on the phone, but I never spoke to her again. My "friend" didn't defend me and didn't care I was on hold. So I would rather have no friends that that piece of crap of a friend.

HS was better (generally) until senior year when my friends had a fucking freak out over affirmative action and then I wanted to burn the world down again.

I really have not had a lot of close friends ever since. I've been wary and expect that friends will let me down in some fundamental way. I had a really good time in college for the most part and good experiences in grad school, but when you've been let down like that, it is kind of hard to be as open as others might be.

Got it. Read it to Hubby, he nodded and said all you said had been covered.

The first chemo is RCHOP. All natural! Periwinkle extract, yew extract, and blowfish extract among others. Whee.

Ok, that's kinda cool. Blowfish extract? Will they show that episode of the SImpsons where Homer discovers sushi? "Delicious....delicious....poison!" (or something like that.)

And yes, LeN, i still frequently question the motivation of any new friendly-type person. I just assume they are setting me up for some kind of horrible cruel prank, even tho I'm far past that stage of life.

It's funny. I was the victim of so much social nastiness when I was in junior high (singled out, excluded, etc), but I met my best female friend at the end of my ninth grade year, and she changed everything. Finding one person who never betrayed me allowed me to overcome much of those horrible, torturous junior high experience.

I definitely had more flat-out bullying, which may be why I find the idea of not inviting people to shit as workplace bullying to be weird. I mean, sure, don't pull a "we will all be at a party...oh but not YOU". But that's so far from "let's make fun of her and take her coat away during recess in the winter and play keep away". Or "let's tell the creepy doesn't know how to handle puberty mentally challenged kid that she really wants to touch him and encourage him to corner and kiss her on the bus and provide running commentary!"

Compared to that shit, not being invited to parties was fine. I might be sad but I could stay home and read and plot the day when I'd be way more fabulous than them.

So today, I refused to take Emeline's book to her at school. A-FREAKING-GAIN. I told her I wasn't dressed and in the middle of laundry and Law & Order.

She wreaked her revenge by telling the parent volunteer that I wouldn't bring the book up because I wasn't dressed even though I took her to school "in my robe and Wonder Woman underwear."

Sigh.

I hold adults to a higher standard of behavior, esp in the workplace. I'd also make a distinction between high schoolers and elementary school kids.

That said, that's appalling le n. I can remember incidents at school where one kid was getting bullied in public, and I was the only kid to defend him or her, everyone else just watched silently--which makes it look like they agree with the bully. But later they'd tell they agreed with me and was glad I stood up. I suggested that they should have the guts to agree with me out loud next time, but next time it was always the same. I think it's hard for middle schoolers to confront their friends, for fear of losing them or losing face.

Connie, what everyone else said. And if you want to talk, my profile addy is always good. I went through the same scenarios when Rob got his cancer diagnosis. And you know where I am now, so...