There are benefits to having been excluded so long that they've forgotten you exist.
It may depend on the child's personality. For the shy child that would prefer to read, run around catching butterflies, or engage in other solitary activities, being excluded and forgotten may be a fine situation. For the more gregarious child, being forgotten may be an improvement over being harassed, it probably wouldn't feel as good as for the shy child.
Point. I was the "my book and I are happy back here behind the folded up cafeteria tables, thanks" type.
The Mean Girls I know now don't remember it. I am Facebook friends with them. One of them sent me a note when I joined about how much she admired me, and how she always imagined me leaving our small town behind and doing really big things.
My stepmother is still the worst Mean Girl I know.(It's only slightly as sick as it sounds--there are only ten years between us.)
So my mother is partially right--some of that crap *does* come from jealousy, although not as often as my mother told me that, because I didn't stock the Four Corners with awesome, or anything.
Does anyone know anybody who was a Mean Girl? Have they ever explained why they did it?
I know plenty who still
are...
I'm just better at avoiding them now.
There was one mean girl from my youth who I saw in a picture on facebook and she'd gotten pretty plump. She'd been particularly rail-thin as a kid and rather nasty to anyone who was not (and was not one of her friends). Not long after I was at a party with some old friends (who I see maybe once every few years) and we were all "Dude, Mary C____ got FAT... I shouldn't care... but... man..." and then we'd all laugh. We knew we should be over it entirely, but apparently we were not. For the next little while, "Mary's FAT" could send us into hysterics. It was awesome.
One interview done. It went OK, I think. Not great, but not terrible, either. One more tomorrow.
Does anyone know anybody who was a Mean Girl? Have they ever explained why they did it?
Let's go find Laura Darbyshire, my personal bête noire, and beat it out of her.
Somewhere Ms. Darbyshire shuddered in dread, and she knows not why.
I've always assumed it was a power thing - I'd like to have more power. The power to make you scared or feel bad about yourself counts. I gain more power by taking yours.
Yeah, power. When I was mean, it was basically because I could be. I didn't have that dynamic in my other relationships, and so when I did have the upper hand, I was going to play it out, other people be damned. Selfishness, basically.