Yeah, power. When I was mean, it was basically because I could be. I didn't have that dynamic in my other relationships, and so when I did have the upper hand, I was going to play it out, other people be damned. Selfishness, basically.

I didn't have that dynamic in my other relationships, and so when I did have the upper hand, I was going to play it out, other people be damned.

I see this in kids all the time, certainly I see it in my kids. And Franny, like Matilda, is very empathetic and will offer comfort and care when she sees someone is hurting. But she'll also be a beeyotch to her little brother if it serves her purposes.

When I was a little kid I had big sisters looking out for me, so nobody was mean to me unless you count my sister. I saw, and was sometimes subject to, a lot more bullying in middle school and high school than in grade school. My school was non-standard in that the cruelest, most aggressive bullies were members of the D&D crowd. But when I see those guys now, as adults? They are great guys and I really like them.

Does anyone know anybody who was a Mean Girl? Have they ever explained why they did it?

The one I know has no clue that they did anything bad. It was all just harmless "teasing". Just kids being kids. Yeah. She doesn't recall the time I got shoved down a flight of stairs.

bitterness tag, does not close

I think moving around a lot as a kid took me out of the bullying situation as I don't recall ever being bullied or being around others being bullied. Probably because I was always the new kid and by the time I formed friendships, it was time to move again. But I'm remembering my brother was totally bullied (an itching powder incident comes to mind that I'd go ape shit over if it happened to my kid), so there goes that theory.

The one I know has no clue that they did anything bad. It was all just harmless "teasing".

This is often the case. It's a kind of privilege so they're blind to it.

Glamcookie, I moved a lot and was bullied a lot. Of course I was always the youngest in my class, was awful at sports, was fat, and was good at academics. So I kind of had a flashing neon target floating over my head.

I actually was a mean girl to one girl during 9th grade. I have since apologized and she was very gracious about it. My BFF from 4th grade was brilliant but screwed up by her awful family. It was her idea to do the bullying (nothing violent) but I went along with all of it so I am equally to blame. In her case, her parents were both alcoholics and had a scary, nightmare marriage (her dad kept a loaded gun in the house and used to scream out the window and shoot at any animals which went into their yard when he got drunk), she'd skipped two grades, she was somewhat chunky and she had all kinds of insecurity. I only bullied one person for about a month once, but she was kinda mean to me off and on the whole time I knew her. She would sometimes gang up on me with other girls or spread serious rumors about me until people stopped speaking to me for a while. It was not comfortable and sometimes it was very sad, but for some reason I'm not bitter about it.

Hubby talked to the oncologist about what exactly he has and what we're doing about it. Mantle Cell Lymphoma, stage 4B. There's a stage C. There is no stage 5. It's in his blood, but not yet in his brain.

We start chemo next Friday, down here if the local oncologist feels up to it. That will be a big help. They were going to start it tomorrow, but he said he'd planned on taking me to lunch tomorrow. They said it could wait a week. I'm torn between going "Oh, how sweet" and "God, that means it's not going to make much difference."

There's a treatment plan. If nothing else, they want to keep him alive so they can research him. He's going to lose his hair. I told him his brother will tell him he's being too competitive (brother started losing his hair at 17).

Thank god we get to sleep in tomorrow.

Aw jeez, Connie.

Sleep in and have a nice lunch

Hubby had been concerned about how fast-tracked he'd been. There's normally a months-long waiting list to get the testing he's been having, and department heads have been doing the procedures. He finally asked, and they said since the previous doctor had delayed the diagnosis, they felt duty-bound to try and make up for it. Plus, his horrific medical history has earned him some extra effort.

Huntsman Cancer Center, one of the best in the world. It deserves its rep.

He had a breakdown at the train station just outside the center--which he feels horribly guilty about, the stupid man, he thinks he's supposed to be tougher than that, stupid Viking--and a woman sat down and asked him what was wrong. He told her he'd just gotten his diagnosis. She said, "Look at me," he did, and she took off her hair, as he put it. And she said, "Let's talk."

So at least he has a tribe.