While I think there probably is some distinction to be made between exclusionary behavior and bullying. In my experience, one often leads to the other. The little ones who are deciding that they don't want to play with certain kids and are telling their friends they can't play with them either are likely to be the bullies in the older grades.
It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.
River ,'Objects In Space'
Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj - Jan 16, 2014 9:13:46 am PST #8252 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Toddson - Jan 16, 2014 9:15:56 am PST #8253 of 30002
Friends don't let friends read "Atlas Shrugged"
I think the line may be between not wanting to play with someone and convincing all their friends to exclude the same kid ... and, often, letting the excluded kid know that they're being shut out.
erikaj - Jan 16, 2014 9:19:32 am PST #8254 of 30002
Always Anti-fascist!
wrod.
Trudy Booth - Jan 16, 2014 9:34:39 am PST #8255 of 30002
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
I think the line may be between not wanting to play with someone and convincing all their friends to exclude the same kid ... and, often, letting the excluded kid know that they're being shut out.
And then there is the next level. Exclusion or even blunt exclusion were fond memories once they ramped it up flat-out harassment.
Sophia Brooks - Jan 16, 2014 9:42:17 am PST #8256 of 30002
Cats to become a rabbit should gather immediately now here
The thing that still tends to still effect my behavior to this day were the girls who would be nice to me, compliment me, etc either to laugh as soon as I walked away or to try and get me to say something that could be made fun of. I am still so suspicious of people who are nice! That was 2nd - 5th grade. I don't think people were particularly mean after that-- there was just a hierarchy established and we stuck to it.
Connie Neil - Jan 16, 2014 9:42:56 am PST #8257 of 30002
brillig
There are benefits to having been excluded so long that they've forgotten you exist.
Steph L. - Jan 16, 2014 9:45:22 am PST #8258 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
That was 2nd - 5th grade.
To this day, I call sneakers "gym shoes" because the Mean Girls in the 2nd grade made fun of me for calling them "sneakers". I suppose I could try getting over it, but, I've got a lot bigger baggage to handle, y'know?
(Of course, they also made fun of me for pronouncing "barrette", "crayon", and "spaghetti" correctly, and I didn't change my pronunciation to make them happy, because they were stupid.)
Connie Neil - Jan 16, 2014 9:46:33 am PST #8259 of 30002
brillig
Does anyone know anybody who was a Mean Girl? Have they ever explained why they did it?
Fred Pete - Jan 16, 2014 9:47:50 am PST #8260 of 30002
Ann, that's a ferret.
There are benefits to having been excluded so long that they've forgotten you exist.
It may depend on the child's personality. For the shy child that would prefer to read, run around catching butterflies, or engage in other solitary activities, being excluded and forgotten may be a fine situation. For the more gregarious child, being forgotten may be an improvement over being harassed, it probably wouldn't feel as good as for the shy child.
Connie Neil - Jan 16, 2014 9:48:30 am PST #8261 of 30002
brillig
Point. I was the "my book and I are happy back here behind the folded up cafeteria tables, thanks" type.