Connie, adding my voice to the "not a bitch" crowd. If I may make a suggestion -- this is about your husband. Daughter is secondary, and anything that she is going through is secondary to what your husband is going through. And if she needs rough treatment (the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face) to see that, so be it.
I don't know that a verbal slap in the face will, given what's been said regarding the background, improve the situation.
It's probable that the best option is just the flat-out statement that, right now, while there's a lot of history that doesn't lend itself well to peace in our time, the focus for everyone needs to be on the day-to-day reality of the situation, and move forward as best they can, while acknowledging that doing so doesn't mean the past didn't happen, just that it's not what's important for the now.
It's probable that the best option is just the flat-out statement that, right now, while there's a lot of history that doesn't lend itself well to peace in our time, the focus for everyone needs to be on the day-to-day reality of the situation, and move forward as best they can, while acknowledging that doing so doesn't mean the past didn't happen, just that it's not what's important for the now.
I agree with this.
ION, I really need to stop reading diet articles. I'm looking at the annual "Half Their Size!" issue of People Magazine, and all of these people are listing all the bad habits they used to have, and when they stopped doing things like eating a whole box of waffles with syrup for dinner, or eating three boxes of candy a day, they lost weight. This helps me not at all. Others started eating more vegetables. One went vegan. The intro to the article said that it would inspire me. All this does is frustrate me.
Hil, I feel the same way whenever I read those "15 tips that will help you stay on Budget" pieces. I already do half or more of those things - NOT HELPING.
Yeah, another guy in this article stopped drinking two liters of soda a day. I don't have two liters of soda to stop drinking! I do know that I've been able to lose weight by following Eat to Live, but that food gets so boring so quickly. I might give it another shot, at least just to lose ten pounds or so.
Hey, cool. There are a whole ton of exercise videos streaming on Amazon Prime. I just did some yoga. The commentary about "awareness" was kind of cheesy, and I have to be pretty careful not to over-stretch, but that felt good.
She's fine. It's a happy flail.
Today went well. For given values of well that include Hubby now having a port installed that has one end in the superior vena cava so that drugs can be dumped directly into his heart. He has a thingie stuck nearly in his heart! And I am notoriously squeamish about durable medical devices that breach the skin. Things are moving so damned quickly. This is both very worrying adn very reassuring--very competent people doing all they can to help my Hubby . . . with a high state of urgency . . .
There is more to his daughter than I though. The past was not touched on at all. I asked her about her college work and how the kids are doing and told some stories about her father. Hubby had warned her yesterday that I was not looking to fill any mom-shaped holes in her life, as she already has one (of what quality I have sworn never to discuss in her daughter's presence). But we can be two women worried about a guy important to us both and we can look for areas of friendship.
She's quite smart, though she has a faith in botanical oils and juices that disturbs me and Hubby--he politely asked her not to propose any more cures that Big Pharma didn't want him to know about--and she's being incredibly helpful in getting him to appointments up at the cancer center that I can't go with him to.
So not an interpersonally stressful day. We're still in prep and testing phase, we'll know next Thursday what the exact plans and schedule are. That's after the colonoscopy he has to have on Tuesday. After all that, the drugs begin, he loses his hair, and they stress his heart. The rollercoaster is almost to the top of the first big drop.
