Teppy - insent on a whole nother matter.

Connie, you're not a bitch. You're in pain, too. You get to grieve in your own way, the same as she or anyone else does. It's hard to deal with your own sorrow when you to have to also deal with people whose grieving process is intrusive. For me, dealing with my sister's grief was actually harder than dealing with my mother's illness. Go easy on yourself.

What Zen said, Connie.

Connie, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crap. It's a load you don't need.

Tomorrow there's a lung test that he said "scares me."

I can't imagine how scary that was to hear from him of all people.

Is there a way to split some of your time waiting, Connie? One person can go take a walk or whatever gets you in separate corners for a while?

She has a right to be there but that doesn't mean you have to bond when you seem to expect it to go really badly.

Hell, my Stepmom and I battled when Dad first got sick. And I love her. She loves me. She's been my Dad's partner since I was four six. It was still a fraught situation because we were both just scared to death of losing him.

Connie, I like the idea of royalties.

Sweet weeping Moses. The rose killer is in the yard at 1:30am.

Now, she's hacked them all to the ground. I can't even.

I offered to tell my landlord the perpetrator's name...since she did not do the honorable thing herself. To his uncharacteristic credit, he passed. "What's done is done."

This was, of course, before the entire lot was denuded.

what the WHAT? I mean, sure, roses can tolerate a good amount of well-intentioned but poorly executed pruning, but there's gotta be SOMETHING left. Killing other people's plants is not OK. Especially roses, they are so lovely when in bloom, thorns or no.

eta: oh wait, she's crazy. Son probably talked to her in the "wrong" way which ratcheted her up to make things worse. OMG.

Maybe, though the son kind of knows better than to talk to her about anything serious.

I can also point out that neither the son or the husband is helping her in the middle of the freaking night.

When we talked this afternoon, she said, "I'll make it all go away." I guess that is what she has done.

bonny, I wish a had an advice. Both sides seem to have way too much attitude and opinions on what Should Be Done and ignoring your wishes and what you're willing to do. I'm sorry, it sucks.

Connie, as smart buffistas said, you're absolutely not being a bitch. And it's a good idea, thinking how to spend minimal time with each other as possible. Prevention technique, sure, but you really don't have to deal with more Issues right now.

Connie, I'm sorry for all the grief. Vent here - say all the awful things you think, all the terrible things that you can't let out in person. Pour it out here and maybe it'll make it easier to deal with his daughter. Delete later if you want to, but at least use the board to release whatever tension would lead to something unforgiveable in person.