Babies Aunt is the first person who's asked us if we're going to have kids. My assumption is that most people who know us (friends and family) have a general idea of our ages, and figure it isn't going to happen. (Or they're polite enough to not enquire about shit that isn't any of their business.)
And, honestly, being asked, ONE TIME, if we're going to have kids is fine. I know it's something that people are curious about, or they're just making conversation, or whatever. That's fine, even if I personally think it's none of their business.
If Babies Aunt had just asked us "Are you going to have kids," and let it go when we said no, I wouldn't be neck-punchingly annoyed with her. But god DAMN did she turn it into a crusade, and that is really rude.
And, of course, I'm sensitive because it makes me feel like I'm wired wrong because I am not maternal and don't want kids. Most days, I'm totally fine with it. But I am not a mental health monolith who can always say Fuck What Society Says I Am Me God Damn It And All My Choices Are Always Right. Sometimes I feel like I am SO doing it wrong because I don't want kids. And so Babies Aunt managed to push that button.
"nope, not yet. And how was your recent divorce?"
Love!
If Babies Aunt had just asked us "Are you going to have kids," and let it go when we said no, I wouldn't be neck-punchingly annoyed with her. But god DAMN did she turn it into a crusade, and that is really rude.
Very true. I've been lucky in that most relatives who don't know we're trying to have a baby haven't asked when we're going to have a baby. Maybe they figure we've been together so long that it isn't going to happen.
You know, if people aren't having a kid it's because they don't want one or they DO want one and can't.
Turns out there ARE stupid questions.
Yeah, I've never known anyone to go "OMG! Why did no one remind us to have kids!?"
I am certainly not a mental health monolith, but my decision not to have kids is one I'm really, really sure of. Not only because I don't want the impact on my life, but because I would suck at it, and kids don't deserve that.
"What a great idea, honey! We should have a kid! How did we never think of that?!?!?!"
This would probably be my standard issue reply. I'd go on and on. Thanking them. Hugging them. Telling everyone else. Just never letting the fuck up...
I am certainly not a mental health monolith, but my decision not to have kids is one I'm really, really sure of. Not only because I don't want the impact on my life, but because I would suck at it, and kids don't deserve that.
I'm really, really sure of it. But that doesn't mean there aren't times that I still think I'm Doing It Wrong according to most sources. There's a difference between questioning my choice (I don't) and feeling like I'm being judged as Doing It Wrong. Even though I'm sure of my choice, sometimes it sucks to feel like I'm Doing It Wrong.
And that's on me; don't get me wrong. I own the fact that it bothers me. I wish it didn't, but sometimes it does.
I am certainly not a mental health monolith,
Personally, I think of you as Not!Insane.
Personally, I think of you as Not!Insane.
I've got it framed and everything!
Wait, no. I am not Homer Simpson.
Questions, questions, questions.
After a while I wanted to start telling people who asked when Daniel and I are getting married, "We postpone the wedding six months every time someone asks." In fact I only worked up the nerve to say it out loud to my BFF, who has better right to ask than many. We had a good laugh over it.
