Oh, Ginger, that's sad - your sister's inflexibility. Also the boiled-dry reduction, particularly if it's a chocolate glaze. I do not envy you the clean-up.

Ufh, Ginger, that reminds me of my mom. She loves garage sales. But while I also love a bargain, I want it to be a well-thought-out present, not just "look, I saved money!" One year I asked for sheets, a certain perfume (available at any department store) and a book (available at Barnes and Noble). Didn't get any of those things, though you'd think it was simple enough.

Now I get an e-mail from her saying she talked to Amazon and they told her it was free shipping over $50 and she'd have to pay $19 in shipping. I ran the whole process through myself and no, that's not true.

Have I mentioned that my sister has a learning disability that she refuses to acknowledge or get help for, and, like those people who get to age 70 without ever learning to read, she lies constantly. If I tell her that's not so, she will respond, in a great huff, "Well, that's what they told me." I try to be understanding, but after the first 20 years or so, she wore me down.

eta: Really, meara. Is it too much to ask to get what you want? For years, one problem has been that a lot of the small things I wanted have been electronics, which my mother and sister, the inhabitants of the land of the flashing 12:00, decide to get something that seems to them "like" what I asked for. So if I asked for, say, a Sony mp3 player, I'd get an Emerson tape player.

is she opposed to giving gift cards?

I don't understand why people like that even ask what you want. They should just do whatever they are going to do and then at least there are no expectations.

ND! every morning on the radio there's an ad where an "amateur efficiency expert" is asked how to get more time for breakfast. His answer, simply, is "kilts." And every time I hear it I think of you.

I stopped asking for specific things I wanted from my family when I realized they were gonna buy anything else but that. I just gave them general ideas, like, a bathrobe. Whatever they gave me was almost certainly going to be cheap and useless. My family will happily buy presents at yard sales and brag to the recipient about how little they paid for it. I mean, sometimes you find great stuff secondhand, but some things should really be bought new, especially if they're presents. I don't want a used blender for Christmas.

My family is slowly drifting away from the "GiftMas" celebrations. A little urging from me got the ball rolling. My brother-in-law being unemployed again, for the better part of a year, is helping push it more. Gifts for the kid. That's about it. We are all grown ups.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind gifts. Just not a fan of "had to get you something, and got you this" mentality.

That's me. Not saying it has to be you. If you feel the need to give, and not sure what, donate to a charity that you both would agree to.

I am really not having a good time with this business paperwork. There is no reason this stuff should intimidate me, but I end up feeling like a total charlatan.

It isn't rational at all, my business is successful, and I've been growing through one of the worst economies in recent history and yet I just feel like I don't even know where to start on this type of stuff.

I see things like Business Proposal, Cash Flow Projection, Income and Cash Flow Statements and I just start to panic.

Sorry, I don't mean to dump this, and I know it's crazy talk.

ND, I know that at the library where I work we have a small business resource center with regular free classes and such, as well as lots of books about business plans. Maybe a class would increase your confidence? Another free support organization is SCORE: [link] For examp0le on their web site they have free templates for business proposals.