There are enough things in this life that he wants that just flat out can't happen for him. Me feeling uncomfortable should not be a barrier for his desires.

You are a good person, Andi.

bt, I'm sorry for the family drama.

ND, I have faith in you! And you're not an idiot.

That definitely sounds onerous, ND! Akin to writing a college/grad school application or something. Which is notoriously onerous. Good luck.

My brother is apparently just becoming more of an ass as he grows up. Now he's posting stuff that I won't click on ( like about how racist microaggressions are a bunch of BS, or so I assume from the title) and referencing "Marxist academia" and how it's so out of hand. Like, wtf brother?

That's a tough thing to have to do, Drew - coming up with a way to explain yourself and your business in way that makes sense, first to you, then to translate into language that will make sense to the loan officers.

I can't imagine that anyone who runs a business feels competent at all aspects of it. You're great at what people hire you to do. I know you're on a deadline for this one, but I understand that business proposals are one of the things that the Small Business Administration offers a lot of help on.

I'm sorry about the family drama and your brother's friend, BT.

My family drama is more trivial, but depressing because it's part of a long-time pattern of dealing with my sister, who never gets me exactly what I asked for, because she thinks it costs too much or she can't find it locally. She wanted a Christmas list from me. I asked for two things on sale on Amazon that total about $40. One is a moderately obscure DVD that anyone with any sense would realize was only available online. She apparently spent the last three weeks wandering around Wal-Mart and calling local stores, then tells my mother she can't order the things on Amazon because the shipping is too much, even though I re-explained free shipping to her. It's hard to figure out anything I want that's in stock at the nearest Wal-Mart. It all sent me into such a funk that I boiled dry something I was supposed to be reducing by half and realized the reason I had so much chocolate glaze was that I read ounces for teaspoons.

Oh, Ginger, that's sad - your sister's inflexibility. Also the boiled-dry reduction, particularly if it's a chocolate glaze. I do not envy you the clean-up.

Ufh, Ginger, that reminds me of my mom. She loves garage sales. But while I also love a bargain, I want it to be a well-thought-out present, not just "look, I saved money!" One year I asked for sheets, a certain perfume (available at any department store) and a book (available at Barnes and Noble). Didn't get any of those things, though you'd think it was simple enough.

Now I get an e-mail from her saying she talked to Amazon and they told her it was free shipping over $50 and she'd have to pay $19 in shipping. I ran the whole process through myself and no, that's not true.

Have I mentioned that my sister has a learning disability that she refuses to acknowledge or get help for, and, like those people who get to age 70 without ever learning to read, she lies constantly. If I tell her that's not so, she will respond, in a great huff, "Well, that's what they told me." I try to be understanding, but after the first 20 years or so, she wore me down.

eta: Really, meara. Is it too much to ask to get what you want? For years, one problem has been that a lot of the small things I wanted have been electronics, which my mother and sister, the inhabitants of the land of the flashing 12:00, decide to get something that seems to them "like" what I asked for. So if I asked for, say, a Sony mp3 player, I'd get an Emerson tape player.

is she opposed to giving gift cards?

I don't understand why people like that even ask what you want. They should just do whatever they are going to do and then at least there are no expectations.