I explain to critters that anything that bites is killed indoors. It soothes my conscience.

I also explain that Puppycat really loves to play with and snack on crickets. I'd let them live but she is a harsh kitty and noms them.

Oh lord. I misspoke.

There is, indeed, a corpse in my kitchen. God. I hate this.

It has a little white belly.

I didn't even look long enough to see the head. I can't bear the idea of prying it out of the trap.

I feel awful.

If I thought killing one meant the others would head for greener pastures, I would feel a little less terrible. I'm just dreading having to do this again and again.

Did I mention how horrible this is to me?

Traps are cheap. What I do is put a plastic bag on my hand, grab the trap, turn the bag inside out, tie it and toss the whole thing.

Aw, bonny. I know you feel awful, I would too, but you cannot have mice in your house. If there's no way to keep them out, it just has to be done.

Mice and a small dog wreaked havoc with my evening. Mr. Peabody was apparently after something behind the entertainment center, got entangled in the million cords and unplugged the Tivo. As I was trying to unravel the cords and plug it back in, I knocked it off. It took a container with many small parts and a bunch of CDs with it.

The best blessing in the world is to have a normal child

Seriously!?!?!? Even if that were TRUE, who the fuck do they think it would be appropriate to say that to? Someone who is "too" happy about their child's whatever-ness, who needs to be brought down to earth and humbled? No, that's just asshole. Someone who doesn't have a "normal" child? Even more asshole. So that leaves....nobody. STFU.

I can't breathe well enough to sleep, due to making all the snot (with bonus sneezing and coughing). And now my ear has started hurting. I'm giving up and making tea.

What's the benchmark for legitimate calling in sick? Also, if I have met it should I text my supervisor now (12:30), in another hour or two, or when my alarm goes off in the morning (note: If A or B, I will be turning my alarm off)

What's the benchmark for legitimate calling in sick?

Sounds like you have met it. I say, call in now, turn off the alarm, take your preferred medicine, and go to sleep.

Woo.

Except, I have already taken a benedryl and an ibuprofin. I guess I should take a second hit of each.

I gave the critter an indecent burial. Poor thing. S/he really was cute. And just wanted something to eat.

Whitefont for the squeams.

There is blood on my floor. I can't bear to scrub it tonight.

The common wisdom is that the trap snaps their little necks. They don't.

It's just...

Plus, my bff's brother...her only relative who isn't a troll...died this week. He was a good-hearted soul. She's wrecked.

I'm helping the widow deal with some truly bizarre behavior from their Retriever. Biting men's crotches. A new one on me, for sure.

I'll be with them for as long as they need...with whatever I can offer. Lord knows they have enough to deal with after years of illness and a tragic end.

Man. I need a rainbow pooping unicorn right about now.