Tim is a wise man.

I feel like the onus shouldn't be on the person with depression. "Hey, I know the inside of your brain is like being trapped in a cave right now, and everything is hard for you, and trying to get dressed makes you cry, but YOU need to expend the energy to reassure ME."

TRUE. SO TRUE.

If I didn't answer texts or calls for 24 hours, my sister would show up on my doorstep to make sure I wasn't dead, and that's reassuring. With everyone else, I like knowing that I can virtually disappear for a few days and no one will be mad at me. More than a few days, though, someone needs to check on me.

I am kind-of bad at checking up on friends who've dropped out of sight for a while, though. I'm always in my own fuzzy headspace, anyway, and I never really know who wants to be left alone, and who needs constant contact. Well, some I know need constant contact, but I'm not capable of doing that, so maybe they need better friends than me.

A friend of Biyi's actually turned up on our doorstep unannounced a couple of nights ago because Biyi hadn't answered a text message.

Jesus CHRIST. I figure I just got to get over not being in the know/chosen helpmeet. I didn't earn it, and if that's the biggest problem I have at the time, it's clearly the smaller of the problems on the table.

But that friend does have a bigger problem than feeling isolated in the friendship.

maybe they need better friends than me.

I think you are, at best, looking for the word "different", but might also be looking for the modifier "in addition to" somewhere up in there. No one needs only one sort of friend, do they?

I have a friend who is pretty much family to me, but she has a tendency to BE DRAMATIC about everything with a side of making things all about her reactions and needs. She means well, but when my mom passed away, another friend asked me if there was anything they could do for me, I said "Please cope with Friend X for me, because I cannot manage her grief on top of this."

There are lots of people who I don't hear from for days on end that I don't worry about. That may say more about me, though.

I sometimes worry that I am so independent, if I died in my sleep, it would take too long for people to notice and come rescue Cagney.

Though Cagney might be well fed . . .

This has actually crossed my mind...and frankly, I'd prefer that to him starving...but he sleeps in a crate. He couldn't get out, or even bark out the window!

Next time you feel sickly, unlatch his crate.