I wish there was comforting, reassuring phraseology that would make the brain demons automatically say, "Oh, right, that's truth, no getting around that."

I didn't think you were whiny.

and I'm sorry that you were hit now.

and sj, glad to hear your uncle is doing better - better day to you

I'm sorry. I'll do better. You guys deserve better.

Fuck it, you deserve better than to feel this down on yourself. If it were me who was having the kind of ups and downs that you are, no one here, least of all you, would think that I was not good enough for sharing here. It makes me sad that you feel you deserve less tenderness than you would offer to me. Please, if you can, try to talk to yourself the same kind, loving, snarky way you would talk to a beloved friend.

Oh, and what's that saying - we must all hang together or we shall all hang separately? Yeah, let's do that. The bigwigs of the rope industry don't need our business.

Holy shitballs, y'all - since turning 40 my body has totally failed me. Sinus infection and subsequent antibiotic yeast infection and diarrhea.

Come on!

Next week I have my wedding anniversary and then going to Denver for Great American Beer Festival and I need to be in better condition.

Tep, I'm sorry that you're having a tough time. It's totally understandable... you're still stressed/recovering from stress.

Tom and I have tried several times to go off our anti-d's and it's never worked out for very long. It's all so complicated and unique and brain-sensitive.

My totally pulled-from-my-ass scientific opinion is that I've been working so hard to hold it all together that once the big thing is behind me, the whole giant tower of blocks has no choice but to come down at once.

I tried to explain this to my husband. With me, it's often getting through a concert series. You spend a week (or whatever period of time) going "I can't get sick, I can't get sick, I can't get sick"), and then that period of time elapses, and it's like your body suddenly has permission to be sick.

Case in point: Finished my concerts Sunday afternoon, had a fever by Sunday night.

To me, it's like those fish that live deep in the ocean. They can live under pressure, but they die when brought to the surface.

I think of it like, you know how a plant is kept upright by the pressure of the water in its cells? Then if the water goes away, the pressure goes away, and the flower wilts -- it collapses because there's no more pressure. Sometimes the pressure is all that's keeping me upright and functioning.

Billy Joel says it well "You have no scars upon your face and you cannot handle pressure."

Steph, what we *deserve* from each other is truth, warts and all. We all fall down. Some of us stay down longer than others, and need more help getting up. Some of us need cheerleaders, some of us need a quiet "Doing okay?" and not to draw mass attention. I think we're pretty good at giving what each of us needs. But in order to do that, we need truth. I'm honored you love us enough to be truthful, so we can be present for you.

...aaaand enough woo-woo for today. Sincere woo-woo, but eh. I'm glad you're getting help. Lord knows you've been juggling flaming torches for a good while, now. Time to lay them down for a while.