No apologies needed, hon. And I completely understand the post-wedding crash thing: I get the same thing every time I've just gotten past a big stressful thing, whether it's a huge deadline, a job search, a speaking gig... and HELL YES getting married. I tend to get the depression flare, a nasty flu-like random bug or two and a migraine, all at once. My totally pulled-from-my-ass scientific opinion is that I've been working so hard to hold it all together that once the big thing is behind me, the whole giant tower of blocks has no choice but to come down at once.

And yes, in those circumstances, it's totally understandable that a fucking washing machine would be just too much to deal with.

Things absolutely will get better post-wedding, because it's so obviously the right choice for you and Tim's lives. It's just that "post" doesn't necessarily mean "today", it means something more like "once you've gotten over the wacky mental immune-system crash and hid out in a pillow fort until things have normalized". And society does a completely sucktastic job of prepping you for that or even letting you feel like it's okay.

pssst, sj, no apologies needed from you either!

Steph, no apologies. We're all here to prop each other up.

it feels like giant failure, it feels like being stuck in a tar pit

Come sit with me, seriously. We have the same brain. But it's actually not our fault.

You're a human being. You always have the right to get stressed and overwhelmed and bitch about it.

And we've gotten a measure of squee out of you too. I'd hate to lose either.

Ain't no one playin' "Sucks more to be me," just "Sometimes shit do suck surely."

This! Oh, so much this!

it feels like giant failure, it feels like being stuck in a tar pit

Come sit with me, seriously. We have the same brain. But it's actually not our fault.

Yep. You're not alone. None of you are alone in any of this. We're here to support each other through squee AND despair.

Things absolutely will get better post-wedding, because it's so obviously the right choice for you and Tim's lives. It's just that "post" doesn't necessarily mean "today", it means something more like "once you've gotten over the wacky mental immune-system crash and hid out in a pillow fort until things have normalized". And society does a completely sucktastic job of prepping you for that or even letting you feel like it's okay.

What she said!

It's like you've just taken your final exam after staying up late for three weeks cramming, and the exam's over, and you did great, but you've stressed your brain to the point where, now that the big deal's over, something's got to give.

You're not a failure: you survived all the crap this year has thrown at you, the wedding stress, the job stress: all of it. Now it's recovery time.

I wish there was comforting, reassuring phraseology that would make the brain demons automatically say, "Oh, right, that's truth, no getting around that."

I didn't think you were whiny.

and I'm sorry that you were hit now.

and sj, glad to hear your uncle is doing better - better day to you

I'm sorry. I'll do better. You guys deserve better.

Fuck it, you deserve better than to feel this down on yourself. If it were me who was having the kind of ups and downs that you are, no one here, least of all you, would think that I was not good enough for sharing here. It makes me sad that you feel you deserve less tenderness than you would offer to me. Please, if you can, try to talk to yourself the same kind, loving, snarky way you would talk to a beloved friend.

Oh, and what's that saying - we must all hang together or we shall all hang separately? Yeah, let's do that. The bigwigs of the rope industry don't need our business.