( continues...) couldn't say more than hi and bye to them).

I understand that at a wedding, the bride and groom can't have 20-minute in-depth conversations with each guest. I don't need that pointed out, just to be clear. And I understand that people are going to leave when they need to leave, and they need to do what they need to do; I am also fine with that. I'm just terribly disappointed that our timeline was so fucked that we made dinner late and didn't get to talk to some of our loved ones.

Mostly, I'm really full of raaaaaage at the B&B owner. I feel like she flat-out lied to us, both by omission -- by not telling us about double-booking the venue -- and by commission, by telling us we were the fucking top priority. It threw off and screwed up our whole damn day, and my anger has nothing to do with it being my special magical princess day; it has to do with wanting to be a good host for an event we threw. Well, and the rage is because I hate being lied to.

My most charitable explanation is that the owner is a terrible manager and genuinely underestimated the impact of the Underground Railroad event. But the hospitality industry is her fucking business; it's her JOB to manage 2 events and not fucking LIE to a paying customer.

So, to sum up from the bottom of my verbose, black little heart, I don't want to look back on our wedding and see the bad part, the part where we were screwed over by our venue. I want to acknowledge that the shitty, being-screwed-over part happened, and then get past it, and remember the good parts, of which there were many.

It's funny: I've said, blithely, for so long, that if Tim and I ended up married at the end of the day, everything would be fine. But I was wrong about that. We did end up married, obviously, and that is so incredibly wonderful, my black little heart grew 2 sizes. But it turned out to NOT be the only thing that mattered about our wedding day. And I didn't expect that.

Ugh, what a poopyhead, Steph.

I think in the long run, the irritation will fade and the joy will be the only thing that matters and the thing that you remember.

I also think, if I were in your shoes, I would be demanding some money back from the B&B owner.

Dana speaks for me. In every particular, Steph.

I'm so sorry that happened and I'd be demanding a massive discount.

If you want to make it non-emotional, prorate the amount of time the facility was not available to you as the discount price.

• Total cost,
• divided by hours spent,
• minus 3 hours for non-exclusive use as promised,
• equals discount.

Tep,

At this point I think you should ask for some $$ back. You have significant complaints and the response to your complaints was inadequate. I also think the Chamber of Commerce needs to know about this.

Not sure what your contract says but the conversation you had after reading about the conflict should have bearing on the person's ability to perform.

Think about how many hours you thought you would have the facility unimpeded and how many you did.

I feel your pain, Teppy. I'm sorry that you weren't able to give your guests the experience that you wanted.

Congratulations, married lady! I can't wait to see more pictures.

I think a strongly worded letter -- understatement-- is absolutely called for, pointing each way they screwed up your event. Even if nothing comes of it, you'll feel better telling them, and you can make it clear that you will not recommend them to friends.

That said, it's still so fresh! Of course today that's the focus. But like Dana said, a few years from now all you'll remember is marrying him, and dancing, and being happy. For real. (So much got screwed up at my wedding, but I can't even tell you what anymore, aside from the limo that never showed up. All I remember is a lot of joy. And sore feet.)

And then take that money and use it to throw a party where you can spend all the time you want talking to your family. Or do something totally self-indulgent.

Separate post: congratulations! I am so pleased you two are married and that the day held some joy for you. Blessings on your marriage for the decades to come.

The Chamber of Commerce, the BBB, Angie's List, Craigslist, Yelp, the local wedding shops, local florists, their own website and facebook page...

Yep, these are the names I'd throw out when presenting your request for discount.

Quite apart from whatever the owner _thinks_ is a rationale, no bride worth her spanx is going to risk being treated in the same way.

If anyone shot pictures of the re-enacters during your time there, ALL THE BETTER.

Oh my. I have a whole counter-PR campaign blooming in my head.

I guess that is how indignant I am on your behalf, Steph!

Oh my. I have a whole counter-PR campaign blooming in my head.

I've been mentally writing the icily contemptuous letter to the B&B owner.