It doesn't sound humorous, to me. Intuitive eating can scare the crap out of me sometimes. How can I be SURE that what I want is an orange/cookie/turkey burger? Maybe my body is lying? Maybe my body is interpreting the hunger correctly but then my BRAIN is lying and telling me I want cookies when I really want cheese! (Although, of course, I only suspect my body/brain is lying when I want sweets or snacky food. I always believe it when it wants a vegetable.)

And I'm in the rut right now where eating is too much trouble, so I don't eat all day until 4 or 5, and the result is headaches and crankiness and crying and irrationality, because, oh, I'm starving!

IOW, I get where you're coming from. Food is easier when you have self-imposed or external rules (like WW points or low-carb or no fruit after noon or whatever).

I hate food. I really do. If there were some sort of People Chow (for people, not made of) that I could get a 1/2 cup of in the am and another 1/2 cup of in the pm to get all of my nutritional and caloric needs, I would sign up in a heartbeat.

If there were some sort of People Chow (for people, not made of) that I could get a 1/2 cup of in the am and another 1/2 cup of in the pm to get all of my nutritional and caloric needs, I would sign up in a heartbeat.

I've always thought I would be more successful at dieting if it were possible to go cold-turkey like you can with other addictions. Not easy, but easier.

(ETA: People chow would have to have some crunch to it, for me--drinking like, cans of Ensure would not work, because liquid diet does not tell my body we have eaten)

I mean, literally, chow. Like Kibbles and Bits.

I would be willing to try People Chow. But maybe in an assortment of textures, just for a bit of variety.

So sore, I am pathetic. It just hurts to move.

Well sure, what body fibs about wanting vegetables? But that wanting of something sweet, well it is easy enough to get the signals mixed up between yummy cookie and yummy fresh fruit.

Eating IS too much trouble. It's not like feeding the cats; I like them. I resent having to do any basic maintenance on this thing AND THEN there is the baggage that comes with food and eating. Can't I just sleep through it all?

I would not be happy on a diet of kibble. One of my students is writing a paper about how great it will be when we can all just eat MREs like astronauts and soldiers (that's one of his supporting paragraphs anyway), but I am happier with a home cooked meal.

Oh, I'm with the "give me a plate of something so I don't have to worry about it" school. Planning it, preparing it, cleaning up after it--then doing it again in a few hours! Bleh.

There's a startup dude who claims to have created such a miracle substance, and who, no shit, calls it Soylent. The major problems with the whole brilliant plan seem to be (a) dude's an electrical engineer with no actual knowledge of nutrition except what he read on the internet, and (b) from early reports, tastes like liquid concrete.

I'm of the "whole idea of having the same thing forever and ever and ever makes me twitch" school, myself, but I'm kinda curious to see if it actually works out. Preferably without causing any unforeseen health issues.

Andi, you are so not alone. It doesn't sound humorous to me. "Intuitive eating" may not really be working for me, either, because my body, when allowed to eat whatever it wants, will eat the worst food possible. The idea that if I give my body whatever it wants, soon it will feel "safe" and start wanting veggies and fruit and, like, hummus or something? Yeah, cool, but no. It wants potato chips and cheese crackers and pizza.

I'd buy People Chow by the bagful. Eating is annoying. I want a wife who would put a plate of food in front of me when it's Eating Time, and I wouldn't have to think about it. What to eat, when to eat it, how much to eat, did I eat enough, did I eat too much, did I eat the right combination and variety of food, will I gain weight, will I lose weight, am I still hungry, is it too late to eat more, what the fuck should I eat? Christ, how can a natural function be so hard to do correctly?