I mean, literally, chow. Like Kibbles and Bits.

I would be willing to try People Chow. But maybe in an assortment of textures, just for a bit of variety.

So sore, I am pathetic. It just hurts to move.

Well sure, what body fibs about wanting vegetables? But that wanting of something sweet, well it is easy enough to get the signals mixed up between yummy cookie and yummy fresh fruit.

Eating IS too much trouble. It's not like feeding the cats; I like them. I resent having to do any basic maintenance on this thing AND THEN there is the baggage that comes with food and eating. Can't I just sleep through it all?

I would not be happy on a diet of kibble. One of my students is writing a paper about how great it will be when we can all just eat MREs like astronauts and soldiers (that's one of his supporting paragraphs anyway), but I am happier with a home cooked meal.

Oh, I'm with the "give me a plate of something so I don't have to worry about it" school. Planning it, preparing it, cleaning up after it--then doing it again in a few hours! Bleh.

There's a startup dude who claims to have created such a miracle substance, and who, no shit, calls it Soylent. The major problems with the whole brilliant plan seem to be (a) dude's an electrical engineer with no actual knowledge of nutrition except what he read on the internet, and (b) from early reports, tastes like liquid concrete.

I'm of the "whole idea of having the same thing forever and ever and ever makes me twitch" school, myself, but I'm kinda curious to see if it actually works out. Preferably without causing any unforeseen health issues.

Andi, you are so not alone. It doesn't sound humorous to me. "Intuitive eating" may not really be working for me, either, because my body, when allowed to eat whatever it wants, will eat the worst food possible. The idea that if I give my body whatever it wants, soon it will feel "safe" and start wanting veggies and fruit and, like, hummus or something? Yeah, cool, but no. It wants potato chips and cheese crackers and pizza.

I'd buy People Chow by the bagful. Eating is annoying. I want a wife who would put a plate of food in front of me when it's Eating Time, and I wouldn't have to think about it. What to eat, when to eat it, how much to eat, did I eat enough, did I eat too much, did I eat the right combination and variety of food, will I gain weight, will I lose weight, am I still hungry, is it too late to eat more, what the fuck should I eat? Christ, how can a natural function be so hard to do correctly?

Oh, I love eating. I love it lots. And lots. And way more than my stomach actually needs. Which is why a serious People Chow diet would be helpful, for a while. Wouldn't want to do it forever. If nothing else, there are a very limited number of pleasures one can have. Food is one of the cheaper ones.

There's a startup dude who claims to have created such a miracle substance, and who, no shit, calls it Soylent.

I have read about this, but it's a shake sort of thing. I want chow, dangit!

I can deal with (most) of the things I should do by just not doing them. But you have to eat, and eating things that taste bad but are good for you is depressing. I hate making food such a focus of my life.

The idea that if I give my body whatever it wants, soon it will feel "safe" and start wanting veggies and fruit and, like, hummus or something? Yeah, cool, but no. It wants potato chips and cheese crackers and pizza.

Oh, the problem is not so much that intuitive eating does not "work" for me. It does, for values of work that equal losing 50 or more pounds while not dieting in any way, shape, or form. Yeah, sometimes my body asks for stuff that is other than pure nutrition. I eat potato chips, pizza, sweets, fried foods, blah blah blah. But it does also make itself quite clear on the topic of veggies, whole grains, fruits, lean protiens, etc. It's just that my body continually asks for a terrifying amount of food, and I get sick to death of feeding it. I just want it to shut the hell up about a thousand calories before it has had enough fuel.