We don't kill because it's hard to get away with it. Some people say it is wrong but mostly I think about the inevitable legal defense.

I always worry when Hubby and I and friends sit around in diners plotting how to kill people and get away with it. I mean, me and mine have always had conversations like that, and I thought everyone plotted hypothetical felonies as entertainment. Until I spotted worried looks cast our way. I wonder if we're on any lists. On the other hand, the town police are convince Hubby is a retired police officer (he sort of is, he was a cop way back when) with a concealed carry permit who's more restrained about carrying. So hopefully we'll get the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah, murder seems difficult. I mean...hiding the body, but also the MESS. I suppose some poisons might not be messy, but even some of those would cause vomiting and stuff. And any other method might involve lots of blood to clean up. I"m too lazy for that.

ita, how about this scenario: A guy you don't really know well asks you out for coffee. He pays for the coffee. You chat for a while and are getting along. Then he mentions his wife. You might at that point genuinely be confused--is this a date? Do they have an open relationship? Or is that his way of explaining that despite the asking for coffee and paying for it, this is just a friend thing? The confusion is real, but I'm not saying he did anything WRONG in this situation. He's just sending mixed signals. Maybe he could've cleared it up sooner, maybe he didn't realize at all that you didn't know about the wife (or assumed you knew they were poly, or whatever). Hell, I've been on that sort of thing, where at some point you pause and go "wait, is this a date or not??" and realize the two of you may have been on very different pages about that.

Connie, that's bullshit. I'd be tempted to bring in a doctor's note, and attach it to a letter to HR, flatly stating "Please don't ever imply I am lying about a health issue when the workplace defies OSHA standards again."

Yeah, that. I threw a fit when my workplace started putting in new carpets and painting. I couldn't breathe. They hadn't taken ANY precautions for air quality. That was before I could work from home. Nobody else was bothered, apparently, so my boss just thought I was overreacting.

And they always act surprised that anyone would be adversely affected by gunk in the air, and they look at you like you're a slacker.

And they always act surprised that anyone would be adversely affected by gunk in the air, and they look at you like you're a slacker.

Good grief. And there's so many reasons why that sort of thing could affect someone--asthma, migraines, allergies...

They can't see it, and it's not bothering them, so it doesn't exist. Much like ghosts.

...do the ghosts often bother you, Zen?

A guy you don't really know well asks you out for coffee. He pays for the coffee. You chat for a while and are getting along. Then he mentions his wife. You might at that point genuinely be confused--is this a date? Do they have an open relationship? Or is that his way of explaining that despite the asking for coffee and paying for it, this is just a friend thing? The confusion is real, but I'm not saying he did anything WRONG in this situation. He's just sending mixed signals.

To be honest, I consider that reasonably clear signal. A disappointing signal, if I had gotten my hopes up, but I don't consider asked out for coffee or even paying for coffee more than "likes my company". I have so fucking many attractive friends I'm numb to anything shy of sexy touching (and after a few marathon makeout sessions I had a guy say "Well, I won't be in town when you come through, but do you want to stay with my wife?"--that confused me).

Hey, I'm in a minority of two here. Happens often enough.

I would never say it was weird of the guy to ask me to go for coffee with him, or to pay, or to mention his wife. Not noteworthy, not anything. It would have been embarrassing if I had been leaning in for a smooch at the time he mentioned the spouse, but that's about it. And my smooth MO? Is to say "Hey, are you attracted to me?"

NB: chronically single, possibly aromantic but I don't think I'm tone deaf or particularly unimaginative and have experience with both failed and successful one night stands and friends with benefits.

And they always act surprised that anyone would be adversely affected by gunk in the air, and they look at you like you're a slacker.

Yeah, with the new carpets here, I complained about the fumes and said they were a headache trigger and got a very blank, "...and?" response. When they were re-tarring roofs I mentioned how at my last job when they were re-tarring roofs, they encouraged us to come in before hours, after hours, work from home if possible - the response was more, "well, that must have been nice for you, someone should have thought of that here..." If I complained of getting a headache (which I wouldn't do too much, see above), I was reminded where the ibuprofen is. But yeah, since you're not actively bleeding, you're a hypochondriac.