A guy you don't really know well asks you out for coffee. He pays for the coffee. You chat for a while and are getting along. Then he mentions his wife. You might at that point genuinely be confused--is this a date? Do they have an open relationship? Or is that his way of explaining that despite the asking for coffee and paying for it, this is just a friend thing? The confusion is real, but I'm not saying he did anything WRONG in this situation. He's just sending mixed signals.

To be honest, I consider that reasonably clear signal. A disappointing signal, if I had gotten my hopes up, but I don't consider asked out for coffee or even paying for coffee more than "likes my company". I have so fucking many attractive friends I'm numb to anything shy of sexy touching (and after a few marathon makeout sessions I had a guy say "Well, I won't be in town when you come through, but do you want to stay with my wife?"--that confused me).

Hey, I'm in a minority of two here. Happens often enough.

I would never say it was weird of the guy to ask me to go for coffee with him, or to pay, or to mention his wife. Not noteworthy, not anything. It would have been embarrassing if I had been leaning in for a smooch at the time he mentioned the spouse, but that's about it. And my smooth MO? Is to say "Hey, are you attracted to me?"

NB: chronically single, possibly aromantic but I don't think I'm tone deaf or particularly unimaginative and have experience with both failed and successful one night stands and friends with benefits.

And they always act surprised that anyone would be adversely affected by gunk in the air, and they look at you like you're a slacker.

Yeah, with the new carpets here, I complained about the fumes and said they were a headache trigger and got a very blank, "...and?" response. When they were re-tarring roofs I mentioned how at my last job when they were re-tarring roofs, they encouraged us to come in before hours, after hours, work from home if possible - the response was more, "well, that must have been nice for you, someone should have thought of that here..." If I complained of getting a headache (which I wouldn't do too much, see above), I was reminded where the ibuprofen is. But yeah, since you're not actively bleeding, you're a hypochondriac.

There's a definite health culture here, with regular healthy employee activities. "Join us for the fun run!" "We're having yoga class at 5 PM every Wednesday!" "The inhouse gym is open from 8 AM to 6 PM!" Of course, my shift goes till 6, and tech support doesn't have the option that the rest of the company does to go play basketball in the afternoon and such. Ailments without obvious symptoms, like broken bones and wheelchairs, seem to be looked at with suspicion.

I'm not making a fuss, because I've already had to play the arthritic hands card in the past. Supervisors have seen me hit my inhaler, but I don't think they realize how bad asthma can be. I know I'm gambling with my health, but in Utah there are downsides to pushing too hard for ones rights, and I have the means to protect myself. I don't want to be That Person any more than I have to be.

Oh lord.

The indoor atmosphere stuff can be so, incredibly maddening.

When I worked for the non-profit, we moved from an older, charming building into a highrise with no open windows.

I designed the interior and begged for low voc products...of course, no one listened.

After the move in, people...me first, of course, started getting sicker and sicker. I asked, and then I begged for a particulate and exhaust audit.

Everyone treated me like I was a full on crazy person. Not just a hypochondriac, but actively trying to subvert the whole organization. Did I mention that everyone was sick?

Finally, I called the EPA and begged for someone to test the air...nearly got fired.

In the end, it was discovered that 5 of the 6 HVAC vents had been blocked up during construction. There was ONE vent for the entire floor of the building.

It's a miracle people didn't pass out, or worse, on a regular basis.

No one ever said they were sorry for their behavior or thanked me for improving their health.

Being the canary in the coal mine blows, yo.

...do the ghosts often bother you, Zen?

No, they've always been pretty quiet.

There's a guy wandering around with moisture detection equipment. I suspect our carpeting is doomed. Half of the floor perimeter has had the bottom eighteen inches of drywall pulled out, which means the majority of the tech department is within six feet of drywall that was considered unsalvageable.

It's raining like crazy. I hope they cleared the roof drain that was the cause of it all.

You guys! Less than a thousand to go to hit our Ginger George Bailey goal!!

... the hell, bonny? You probably saved some people there.

I'd say "thanks for the moral support" for the not killing anyone, but I guess the right phrasing will be "thanks for the technical support".

I really need to think what to do with my anger, now that it stop being a motivational force for those acheronta movebo things (AKA "weekly challenge I assign myself"). I guess it's a good thing that Yom Kippur is tomorrow.

Less than a thousand to go to hit our Ginger George Bailey goal!!

Yay! That's fantastic. Now I'll go google who George Bailey is.

Edit: Oh, It's a Wonderful Life reference. Never watched it, but thanks to TV, I think I know what it's about.

I love It's a Wonderful Life. As you've probably gathered, he gets in financial trouble, and while he's off finding out what Bedford Falls would have been like if he had never been born, word goes around town about his problems. He comes home to a house full of people bringing him money. When his brother says, "To my big brother George: The richest man in town," I burst into tears. Every time.

You're not the only one, lady.