Virtual head massages for those suffering headaches of any name and/or bad dreams.

The dreams aren't an issue for me these days, but reality sucks mightily. Same old same old evil bank stuff still weighing me down, business struggles, etc., blah. The worst thing on my heart is watching my son continue his downward spiral. He apparently is running out of friends willing to lend him a couch. He is going to "starve to death living in his car", despite the fact that I gave him $40 worth of groceries the day before delivered personally to a friend's house where he was staying.

He can't hold a job. He lives for video games and drugs. He takes no personal responsibility whatsoever for the life he has created. As much as it hurts I know it would be the wrong answer to take him back into my home. Wrong to enable him that way, wrong for the stress it brings to my home, wrong for his brother because he has stolen from him so many times and broken his heart. I've only given him food from time to time for the last few months. No money.

This is unspeakably hard.

Oh Laura. That sounds really tough. I hope he pulls his head out of his ass soon.

Oh, Laura. We're going through something similar but milder with Jake, and I do know how hard that is, and how heart-breaking. I think you're doing the right thing, though. At some point, it has to be up to him to make real changes.

I will give him food. Tomorrow I will take him to his court date, if I can find him. I don't really want him to starve or go to jail. Sucks.

I completely get it. You can always email me if you need an ear.

Well, if he's in jail, he won't starve and you'll know where he is. I know, no comfort.

How that must make your hearts ache, Laura and Amy.

I will give him food. Tomorrow I will take him to his court date, if I can find him. I don't really want him to starve or go to jail. Sucks.

You're a good mom, Laura.

Well, if he's in jail, he won't starve and you'll know where he is.

Part of me agrees, as in perhaps this would be a hitting bottom and straightening him out thing. But the drug sentencing here is pretty bad and I really think he would not come out a better person but instead be more damaged.

His lifestyle of hours upon hours of League of Legends and getting high is ridiculous. Part of me wants to once again make the big long list of requirements to a road to redemption with his family, but even if he promised to comply, he won't. Frankly, he won't even promise to comply since it is obviously unreasonable for me to request him to pull up his pants and quit smoking.

I might even consider bringing him back and making him stay at my side and be my minion. But I won't do that to his brother. Bobby is doing all the right things. Excited about college and hanging with really quality friends. They both still do the 'you love him more' thing. They aren't the same and they do get treated differently, as happens in families. I know it is natural for them to have this perspective. But he has stolen from his brother repeatedly and treats him badly and I don't want to force him to have to live with him.

Right now I am thinking I might pack him up and move him in with my brother on the west coast of FL for a while. My brother worked in rehab for decades and has done all that B is doing and more in his youth. He has MS and frankly it would be good for him to have my son around because he falls sometimes.

Thanks, Amy. I may do that. Misery loves company?

Anytime, Laura. Jake is home with us now, because he couldn't find a job up in Fulton and Grandpa got tired of the bullshit. Since we're in a two-bedroom apartment with five people now, Jake has been told that he needs a job ASAP or we'll be going to the recruitment center. He's going to be 22, and he's not doing the drugs anymore but he still has no idea how to be self-reliant. And he's lazy as hell. I love him, but this situation has a clock on it, and it's already running.

Bah. I guess I needed to vent, too.