Oh, Laura. We're going through something similar but milder with Jake, and I do know how hard that is, and how heart-breaking. I think you're doing the right thing, though. At some point, it has to be up to him to make real changes.

I will give him food. Tomorrow I will take him to his court date, if I can find him. I don't really want him to starve or go to jail. Sucks.

I completely get it. You can always email me if you need an ear.

Well, if he's in jail, he won't starve and you'll know where he is. I know, no comfort.

How that must make your hearts ache, Laura and Amy.

I will give him food. Tomorrow I will take him to his court date, if I can find him. I don't really want him to starve or go to jail. Sucks.

You're a good mom, Laura.

Well, if he's in jail, he won't starve and you'll know where he is.

Part of me agrees, as in perhaps this would be a hitting bottom and straightening him out thing. But the drug sentencing here is pretty bad and I really think he would not come out a better person but instead be more damaged.

His lifestyle of hours upon hours of League of Legends and getting high is ridiculous. Part of me wants to once again make the big long list of requirements to a road to redemption with his family, but even if he promised to comply, he won't. Frankly, he won't even promise to comply since it is obviously unreasonable for me to request him to pull up his pants and quit smoking.

I might even consider bringing him back and making him stay at my side and be my minion. But I won't do that to his brother. Bobby is doing all the right things. Excited about college and hanging with really quality friends. They both still do the 'you love him more' thing. They aren't the same and they do get treated differently, as happens in families. I know it is natural for them to have this perspective. But he has stolen from his brother repeatedly and treats him badly and I don't want to force him to have to live with him.

Right now I am thinking I might pack him up and move him in with my brother on the west coast of FL for a while. My brother worked in rehab for decades and has done all that B is doing and more in his youth. He has MS and frankly it would be good for him to have my son around because he falls sometimes.

Thanks, Amy. I may do that. Misery loves company?

Anytime, Laura. Jake is home with us now, because he couldn't find a job up in Fulton and Grandpa got tired of the bullshit. Since we're in a two-bedroom apartment with five people now, Jake has been told that he needs a job ASAP or we'll be going to the recruitment center. He's going to be 22, and he's not doing the drugs anymore but he still has no idea how to be self-reliant. And he's lazy as hell. I love him, but this situation has a clock on it, and it's already running.

Bah. I guess I needed to vent, too.

Yeah, Brendon is 21, going on 13. He doesn't honestly get that being tired because you stayed up too late playing games is not an excuse to miss work. Seriously, I know lots and lots of people, including myself, that partied hard at that age. But we showed our asses up at work on time even with no sleep at all because we had rent to pay.

It really does them no favor to enable the laziness. Sending a virtual chocolate martini to you, Amy. I feel your pain.

edit because are is not our

He doesn't honestly get that being tired because you stayed up too late playing games is not an excuse to miss work.

Oh my god, this.

Jake applied for one job yesterday, online, and looked at me like I was going to praise him. I'm just so tired of it.