These are not friends.

Okay, but if you go out to dinner with friends and run late, you don't just eat their food and then not pay for it, right?

If you were raised right. Sadly, so many are not.

My biggest problem with stuff like this used to be suffering in silence, waiting for someone to realize their bad behavior and fix it. Never happened.

Also, as a non-drinker...and a self-employed person in a sea of highly paid professionals...I finally had to put my foot down with my usual supper group around having to subsidize the six margarita pitchers I never touched.

Somehow group behavior seems to just amplify individual's bad behavior.

These are not friends.

Sing it.

You are not crazy, Aims. That is abhorrent behavior. No invitations, no Xmas cards, no nothing.

Laura, that is a great story. Well done young you.

Shocking and rude, Aims.

Aims,

I'm with Tep. Especially after the passive aggressive bullshit you've had to endure anyway.

If I'm running late, I might not show up at all, or show up for dessert. I damn well would pay for it if it is someone's birthday! Damn.

Pix,

Maybe on the next evite you should add "no freegans."

you cracked up my shit.

If I'm running late, I might not show up at all, or show up for dessert. I damn well would pay for it if it is someone's birthday! Damn.

This.

Aims, that is craxy. I'm sorry those fucktards made your birthday less than absolutely fabulous.

I have 45 minutes until my massage. Wheeeeeee.

Aims, that is craxy. I'm sorry those fucktards made your birthday less than absolutely fabulous.

And this! Also, I don't remember extending my wishes for the wonderful birthday you deserve.

Thanks for the comments on my 19 yo self. Honestly, it was a major developmental moment in my life that taught me to never accept the unacceptable. I am grateful it happened so early.

I also had a yelling boss when I was 25. This was a particular concern as I listened to him bark at all the other people in my first weeks on the job. I knew that I would surely burst out crying if he yelled at me. In particular since I was very unsure of what I was doing as the job was much more complex than my skill level. You never really can predict your response, but I shocked myself in a good way when the day came. He came into my office with the arms flaying and the curses flying. I stood up and actually yelled back at him. I told him we had two choices, he could do my job his way or I could do it my way, but if he wanted me to be responsible for the tasks I had to do it my way. He laughed and never yelled at me again. (how I didn't vomit I have no clue)

Over the years it seems that I have this mirror response. It is fight or flight no doubt because the alternative is to curl up in a ball and cry. My confidence level is often zip, but if it a choice between admitting my incompetence or being boldly defensive apparently my choice is instinctive.

The rest of the attendees - especially Joe - made sure I had a fabulous birthday. I was "caught" putting the candles on my cake and was promptly shooed out of the kitchen with a cocktail and put into my chair. Then I was "caught" again handing out cake to people and was shooed away. Then we played Cards Against Humanity where I won a round by making the phrase, "When I was tripping on acid, Hot Pockets turned into masturbation". Then we played a new-to-us game called "Telestrations" which is HIGHLARIOUS. We highly recommend it. It's Telephone and Pictionary combined and I don't know that I have ever laughed so hard in my LIFE.

It was a magnificent birthday. And in my attempting to be a responsible adult and balance the checkbook, I saw where Joe ordered my gift from (it hasn't arrived yet) and I know what it is and I am SO FLIPPING EXCITED to get it. (He doesn't know I know.)