Hugs all round.

I've certainly altered many life plans because of my animal children. As with my human kids it is a balance of their good and mine. Often a struggle.

Glam, 25K is a lot of money and I get the guilt, but your family does have to come first here.

I told her no, that it wouldn't be fair to get a kitten and then go away. I woke up this morning and looked at Lily and wondered if I should.

Java, I got Oz five months after my cat Pico died because I felt like my other cat was lonely when I left her. I wasn't ready. Oz turned out to have some major behaviourial issues. Between those two things, it took a long time for me to bond with him, and I regretted getting him for the longest time. I think it's best to go with how you feel and wait.

As much as I adore Oz now, I make wait a while before I get another pet when he is gone.

I really, REALLY want another dog. Like, yesterday. But I suspect I'm trying to fill the Kato-shaped hole in my heart. And Tim is very much not ready for a new dog, nor do we have the time and energy to devote to a new dog anyway, while we're wrangling things with his dad being in assisted living.

But I still want a dog, dang it.

Can you counter offer with something you can live with?

Steph, maybe look into fostering?

Well, the biggest issue is that too much of our time and emotional energy right now is going towards Tim's dad. That isn't likely to change any time soon, so we can put getting another dog on hold. And I can live with that. In the meantime, Slinky gets to be the sole recipient of all my pet affection, which she alternately loves and flees from.

Thanks for all the encouragement and support from everyone! I will reach out when I get to that point, which hopefully will be soon.

Steph, I understand that. After Anna died I was in a rush to fill the void. I know when you and Tim are ready you'll find the right dog.

I'm not doing well at the moment. I don't know why, but TCG is taking tomorrow out of work because I'm just so completely out of spoons. I'm feeling guilty for even asking him to do that.

Thanks, Sue. That highlights the difficulty of knowing what you're getting. I had no idea with Java that he would turn out to be such a remarkable cat. Got lucky.

My friend's point is that she knows the lineage of these cats, and they've been really good cats, so it's more than a roll of the dice.

My friends joke that I run a hostel, I always have someone staying here who needs a place. The friend who's been staying here thru an ugly divorce and possible foreclosure made other plans for house sitting from May through October, when I couldn't commit to anything because of Java. I know my sister will be here part of the summer and fall, so we just have to figure out when.

Friend emailed, I'm quitting the Hard Sell just get in touch with me if you want to see the kittens. Yay, relieves the pressured feeling.

My sister suggested getting a toy that Lily could snuggle up to when I'm not here, meaning a stuffed animal. Said it worked for her scared, rescued from a puppy mill, little dog after she adopted her. It's impossible to be with them 24 hours a day. I was pretty close to it with Java the last 6 months, usually only away for two to four hours every day.

I have two pet blood glucose test meters, and one of them, I accidentally set to a 10 a.m. alarm. I've gotten used to it!

Typical tl;dr.

I'm just so completely out of spoons. I'm feeling guilty for even asking him to do that.

Do not feel guilty over asking for help. You can't wait until you collapse from exhaustion. ltc and TCG both need you whole and healthy.

It's the sensible, responsible thing to do to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed. I was the nanny, not the mom, but I know that I was the relief for the parents. Our local nextdoor.com regularly has posts about nanny sharing, would something like that be helpful maybe?