Holy shit. And, yeah. What askye said.

Yikes!

That doesn't sound good.

sj, I hope you made it through the day okay and get more sleep tonight.

So it looks like our second date will be a group outing to a showing of OMWF and Dr. Horrible with a shadow cast. I asked him if he was interested (we had not discussed Buffy) and he replied YES! Hee. Man, i hope he's as cool as he seems.

Thanks, smonster.

I ended up going out for a bit while my in-laws were here, doing some errands and getting a latte. So, I'm doing okay. Mom will be here tomorrow, and I should be able to take a nap while she's here. ltc seems to be doing better tonight. She ate so much today. I think she might be having a growth spurt.

Yikes, brenda.

A lot of times I wonder why I am the only fucked up member of my family and why I'm the only one who seems to struggle and then I realise not just me.

There was another miscommunication between mom and my brother because they don't talk to each other. So moms upset, my brother is frustrated with mom and dad and he vented at mom for stuff about Dad because it's easier than talking.

Also mom is still having problems trusting my brother to oh..parwnt his own child. I'm staying out of it. Partly because so barely talk to my brother.

So yeah my family is dysfunctional, I'm just the most visibly dysfunctional one.

Sorry, askye. I hope that's not stressing you out too much.

Do you hear that? It's the sound of an empty house. Mom took ltc to the market.

Oh sj, what a lovely quiet.

askye, for what it is worth, using the definition of "functional" that means "dealing with whatever problems exist in the family system rather than sweeping them under the rug", I have never thought of you as dysfunctional. Sometimes being functional in a dysfunctional family is very isolating. It is certainly a lot of hard work. And there are so many ways the dysfunctional members use to pull you back to dysfunction in order to ease the pressure to function.

Thanks Andi.

Well I not functioning to the level I'd like and I seem to be functioning at a lower level than my brother.

Plus there was always this feeling , when I was growing up, that I was the obvious "sick" one (physical and otherwise) and the "emotional" one between me and my brother so it seemed more visible.

therapy was hard , figured some thigns out and I'm working really really hard not to minimize them to nothing or compare myself to others.

Do you hear that? It's the sound of an empty house. Mom took ltc to the market.

I remember the first time being alone in my own house after D was born. I had to relearn how to watch TV at a normal volume.

askye, you are definitely self aware and actively working on your issues, and that is huge.

I hope you had some lovely peace and quiet, sj.

I need to ask for some ~ma, not for me. My Peace Corps colleague J, who is maybe 40, is in the end stages of colon cancer and his liver is failing. He just returned from a last trip to Moldova, and I'm so glad he was able to go. We weren't super close there (he was a year behind me, in a different group, and a Russian speaker) but we've gotten closer on fb (partially through political arguments, really)! So easy passing~ma to him.

Also some no-big-deal~ma to a sweet doggie I know. He's had three seizures out of nowhere in 36 hours (one this evening while I was drinking porch wine with his momma) and his "parents" had to put their other doggie down less than a year ago. The other pup was Frankie's good friend. Anyway, I know they're worried and the vet had put him on epilepsy meds, so the fact that he had another one tonight is concerning.

Just needed to get that out somewhere.