Thanks Andi.

Well I not functioning to the level I'd like and I seem to be functioning at a lower level than my brother.

Plus there was always this feeling , when I was growing up, that I was the obvious "sick" one (physical and otherwise) and the "emotional" one between me and my brother so it seemed more visible.

therapy was hard , figured some thigns out and I'm working really really hard not to minimize them to nothing or compare myself to others.

Do you hear that? It's the sound of an empty house. Mom took ltc to the market.

I remember the first time being alone in my own house after D was born. I had to relearn how to watch TV at a normal volume.

askye, you are definitely self aware and actively working on your issues, and that is huge.

I hope you had some lovely peace and quiet, sj.

I need to ask for some ~ma, not for me. My Peace Corps colleague J, who is maybe 40, is in the end stages of colon cancer and his liver is failing. He just returned from a last trip to Moldova, and I'm so glad he was able to go. We weren't super close there (he was a year behind me, in a different group, and a Russian speaker) but we've gotten closer on fb (partially through political arguments, really)! So easy passing~ma to him.

Also some no-big-deal~ma to a sweet doggie I know. He's had three seizures out of nowhere in 36 hours (one this evening while I was drinking porch wine with his momma) and his "parents" had to put their other doggie down less than a year ago. The other pup was Frankie's good friend. Anyway, I know they're worried and the vet had put him on epilepsy meds, so the fact that he had another one tonight is concerning.

Just needed to get that out somewhere.

Easy passing ~ma for your friend, smonster. 40 is way too young. I'm sorry.

And health~ma for the sweet doggie too.

May I just say how much I appreciate you all.

That sounds so rough, sarah. So sorry.

I spent the night with friends. And got tipsy. And gave back rubs. And wished I was snuggling with one friend cause we were dating and not just cause we are friends. Sigh.

Oh smonster that is tough. I hope your friend's passing is peaceful and surrounded by love. Ugh on the doggie seizures. I hope they figure it out. Costs for testing our pets can be worse than testing ourselves.

Boo for frustrating snuggles.

Sending out the ~ma for your human friend and your canine friend, smonster. None of that is easy.

Just ordered my wheelchair. (Paid for curtesy of the Bank of Mom and Dad. Insurance doesn't pay anything for wheelchairs unless you need it to get around inside your house, which I don't. And kind of can't, because my house has a weird twisty hallway that a wheelchair wouldn't fit through, anyway.) I can go to street fairs and museums and stuff this summer, and go see Cary Elwes at Cincinnati Comic Expo in September, and not have to rest and ice my ankle and be in pain for days afterwards! I got this one: [link]

Get with the bling adding, Hil! I am sure it will be be wonderful to do things you have been avoiding.

Also, people!! I posted a happy congrats thing on the Cassini mission on FB, and my step dad's son responds with "Is it neessary?". Seriously dude, you keep getting closer and closer to the just unfriend already line. I try and keep peace and block his type for any political posts, but you hate NASA too? I didn't think I needed to block people when I celebrate space exploration.

Random factoid. I was married the first time on this date in 1973. Some day I will find a picture. In February of that year I had been living with Bob a year and told him that I was tired of being pretty much estranged from my family for living in sin. I told him honestly that there were no hard feelings or anything, but if we weren't going to get married I needed to move on with my life. He said of course, sure we can get married. When I asked about when he suggested April, so of course April 28 was the day. Wonder what paths we would have taken had we ended it then instead of after 12 years.