I mean, I shouldn't hold members of other marginalized groups to a higher standard, but it's still disheartening. Also, I guess I can take a kind of bitter satisfaction in the proof that *not* getting defensive is really fucking hard and goes against our self-protective instincts as humans.

Yeah, I mean, it's impossible to actually say that last part in most SJ circles, but...

It was transphobic. And transphobic at the same time as Day of Visibility. SO.

It was transphobic.

Yes, it was.

That's great, sj. I have been eating super healthy, but haven't lost anything. But I am trying to focus on health first. I've not been very active which is a big factor for me. Today at least I got an hour of swimming in, which was glorious. I thought the pool was still too cold but when I was untangling the vacuum thingy it felt nice so I changed and jumped in!

My latest food plan has basically been vegan plus fish. I dumped the eggs and cheese in the continuing effort to try and have decent cholesterol numbers when I break down and go for my physical. I keep the fish both because I think it is healthy stuff, and it gives me better eating out options. Last night we ate out and I had red snapper with marinara sauce, capers and black olives. It was incredible. Also I got 3 meals out of the selection because this Italian restaurant has a warped notion of serving size.

I've not been very active which is a big factor for me.

I track my exercise on the calendar like the obsessive nerdling I am, and I walked 33 miles for exercise in March! This is huge, because I walked 2.6 miles in February, 1 whole mile in January, 7 miles in December, 5.25 miles in November...and then I stopped going backwards to check because that was REALLY eye-opening.

I mean, I recognize that last year was horrible for me, and so I lapsed into inactivity. But I feel a LOT better after a month of consistent walking. t edit Except my right hip is giving me some grief, and I need to use the foam roller to try to work that out.

Tim's BFF asked me last week if I had lost weight (I think the last time he saw me was New Year's Eve), and I honestly don't know because we don't own a scale. I *think* I have less of a double chin, but I see my face every day, so it's hard to tell.

And while I'd like my clothes to fit better, mostly my goal is more energy and feeling better, which is happening, so I am super happy about that.

I didn't exercise, which they really encourage you to do on whole30, but I really wanted to know if eliminating certain foods would help with pain. I didn't want to complicate that by possibly being sore from a new exercise routine. I plan on starting exercising again after Easter.

I know the elimination and reintroduction process is super annoying, but worth it if you can pinpoint the foods that trigger pain.

Yeah, more movement is on my agenda. I got Zoe a new harness so she doesn't break my arms when I walk with her and that helps. Also the GF not only loves carrots, but is always up for walking or going to the gym with me.

I want to eat all the things today, but I'm not. Gluten free alcohol is up first. So, cider after dinner.

I got through the whole conference without drinking! Which I felt especially virtuous about after seeing some of my esteemed colleagues this morning.

sj, has your pain decreased noticibly with this diet?

Laura, glad you have a walking buddy.

I'm feeling much better today. I really should have just done different work stuff instead of banging my head against the wall with those estimates, I breezed right through them today.

So the woman who posted that meme yesterday posted about the number of deaths in Chicago in the last 24 hrs, and she and some other WoC are all, let's see how many comments *this* post gets. And she directly referred to a comment I had made about my emotional reaction to the meme. I just… honestly, I've done more to support black people and issues in my life than trans ones, if I'm being honest. In a perfect world I wouldn't need validation or care that I (and others who said it was transphobic) don't care about black people, but apparently I do. I need to let it go, and maybe just finally leave that group. A further irony is that these days I mostly only comment there if I see that a WoC has posted something that has a ton of comments, because I know shit is going down so I go in to support them.

I need to just keep doing what I'm doing and trust that the people in my life know that I'm doing my best.

Sorry for the excess drama in life, smonster. I've done a pretty good job of eliminating that kind of stress in my life. It has been a several year project, but realization that stress kills has made me make some real changes.

Speaking of stressful stuff, I went on a sick visit to a segment of the right wing family. I love them, but haven't seen them since before the election. Elderly Uncle has been immobilized with back issues and will likely have surgery next week, and Aunt has been out of work with fever and flu stuff for a few days, likely due to immunity hit from stress over her husband. We did the meals on wheels thing and brought chicken veggie and mushroom barley soups and a big fruit platter. Whole Foods is stupid expensive, but they have some really nice soups. Their son came down from Alabama to do the nursemaid thing. Anyway, we managed to get in and out with no political talk, just expressions of love.

Zoe and I did an early morning mile loop, and nearly melted. Got home and checked and see 91% humidity. Only 74F, but I'm talking melted here. Dog is lying on the tile floor panting.

Smonster, yes. I had a couple really bad days due to weather, but the daily pain, especially in my hands and neck disappeared after a week.