Thanks, everyone. I don't know how to resolve this. I offered to have Tom and Nora over to meet him again, but no dice. And please don't take it personally, Nora. He's just a petty jerk.
I ran errands and went to yoga and I'm still so angry I'm vibrating. I'm not talking about this any more tonight
Somehow everything I say is "arguing," and whatever he says is… not? Every discussion is on his terms and when he decides we're done talking we're done. He got pissy when I asked him (calmly) (and repeatedly) to stop interrupting me.
I think he thinks this is about boundaries and respect, and I think he can't be bothered to do anything he doesn't feel like doing so he finds ways to justify that.
Like, he says he "doesn't want to bond with another dog right now" and that's why he doesn't want to take him out. But he gives him treats, is trying to teach him how to shake, and gives him kisses on the mouth. That doesn't make any sense to me.
And please don't take it personally, Nora. He's just a petty jerk.
Don't even worry about it.
I mean, I can totally see not wanting to be responsible for a roommates pet while they are gone. But then you don't get to bitch about the alternate arrangements??? (I mean, maybe "hey can they text me before they come over so I'm not naked" or something. But)
Your next apartment checklist should include Good places to hide the body of a shitty roommate.
Yeah, we got "da bayou."
I need a pep talk. Or career counseling. Or a sugar daddy/momma. Or all of the above.
So last night some pretty terrible pain in my hip (I believe my right SI is out of joint) kept me up until 5 am, despite all my proactive efforts (elec blanket, acupressure, yoga). I finally gave in and took a muscle relaxant at 5 am, but between the lack of sleep and what that does to my balance I called out at work. Because power tools.
I feel some guilt and despair and shame around that, but I am at least taking advantage of the day off to keep plugging away at stuff I need to do (am on hold with healthcare.gov right now AINFG). That's progress, as I'm sure many of you remember how I used to deal with similar incidents.
The big issue right now is that I have until the end of the year to find a new job. If I stay where I am, starting January I will get paid by the piece - basically, the onus will be on me to figure out how long a thing will take me. You guys, I *SUCK* at that. I took this job in part to get better at it, but since I have had neither supervision nor autonomy, I have not built those skills. I strongly suspect that I will never be that good at it - I just don't think my brain processes time that way. I am already struggling to get by on this hourly wage, and I don't think I can make less without consequences.
If I take just any job, I will get fired. I need a supportive, collaborative environment, with some schedule flexibility.
Words of encouragement, silliness, and ideas (even crazy ones) are welcomed.
smonster, I wish I had an idea for you, but all sorts of ~ma headed your way.
Can I have some ~ma for my cousins DH? T got into a car accident this morning when his gas pedal stuck. He struck a tree and has a concussion and possibly some broken bones.
Job~ma, smonster.
Swift-healing~ma for your cousin-in-law, sj.
smonster, from what I've been reading you'd be a good fit for a job that has a split between office/supervisory and field work.
I suspect the moment you read office/supervisor you weren't hot on the idea, but here's what I'm seeing. You've been on the receiving end of a number of seemingly well intentioned bosses that don't know how to manage well. You've also spent a lot of time in the field as a woman in a male dominated industry.
If you can find the right company you are a gold mine. A boss or a company that really wants to make inroads into having a more gender balanced workforce in your industry would love to have someone with your skill set and experience.
I have no idea what the landscape is like for that New Orleans.
I'm coming at this as someone who owns a small business in a field that is dominated by while males to a massive degree. I've worked hard to try to have a balanced office and staff, and on the whole I've done well, but the advice of my wife, and the women that work for me is what has really made the difference. I simply have not experienced this industry from their perspective, so I need to know how to do it.
