People do really horrible things around funerals. I still carry the memory of a friend of my father's yelling at me over the phone when he found out that he has missed the memorial because of a screw up and the word not getting out to the Shriner's group dad was part of. He was livid and merciless, and took it out on me.

Another masonic group had arranged the memorial and they got the word out to everyone. We assumed they managed it all, and apparently they missed that group.

Due to the mess with my sister, we never did have a service for my mom. I paid all the funeral home expenses, was written out of the will, never did see mom's urn, and don't ever expect to, or to see my father's ever again either.

So yeah. sorry to hear that family is being a mess Laura, it hurts, and it sucks.

I am so sorry you had to deal with that, Laura.

Laura, I'm so sorry. That's all so awful.

And Drew, I'm retroactively sorry for all that you had to go through.

Yeah, I wrote off my evil SIL after she screamed at my MIL after FIL died. I have zero tolerance for people that yell at someone grieving the loss of their immediate family. Zero. Never acceptable. I consider myself pretty tolerant and accepting, but I have some pretty solid lines, and that is one of them.

So much stress and sadness. Sympathies to all.

I have NEVER understood people being evil to each other during family rituals. Funerals, weddings, illnesses. It just makes not sense.

Quick drop-in to report that the new attorney took too long to submit the cease and desist letter, but it was finally delivered this morning. His report was that he got 'the most condescending voicemail he's ever received' in response.

I allowed as how he could do me a favor by taking the contents of that call to the grave. I don't need to hear it.

The harassment was deemed less than criminal but more than enough for a defamation suit. Sadly, the defamation criteria requires numbers that are difficult for a sole proprietor to produce.

In any case, I'm not exactly relaxing, but I might be able to sleep for the first night in a week. AND, I'm going to ask folks to keep their ears open for what I think is guaranteed defiance of the c&d.

The worst part of this whole deal was a conversation I had with a strong feminist neighbor/friend last night. I'd been keeping it together really well, if I do say so, but she kept going on about how she understood how scary it is for women to be bullied by men like this. It was late in the day and I was exhausted. She'd offered a referral to an attorney who supports battered women and 'can get a restraining order in her sleep.'

I made the mistake of taking her up on the offer, but she backed out and acted like I should not have asked. In the end, I just felt so pummled that I let my calm demeanor slip ever so slightly. She the said, "Well, you know, you really don't want to act 'crazy.'

I hadn't even raised my voice about this entire nightmare.

I could not believe that another woman was talking to me like the system stacked to make women feel out of control and weak for having an honest feeling.

the jerk, I can understand. He's got serious issues. This lady? I can't make an excuse.

Good grief, beekaytee! I totally get that there is a different level of disappointment or anger with people you know to be crazy vs people you think are in the normal zone. I'm so sorry. I sincerely hope this is in the history books soon.

I am home, and exhausted. It wasn't easy to leave my step-dad, but there were a couple overriding factors. 1. I really wanted to go home and sleep in my bed and shower in my shower. I only took one extra set of clothes and wasn't prepared to stay a week. 2. I think that it is important for SD to have space to grieve alone too. My brother lives with him, and my sister is in the same town so he will have support so not really leaving him on his own. I'll go back in a couple days or so, but I need a bit of rest.

Sounds like a good plan Laura. sorry you had to deal with such horrid behavior.

beekaytee - I'll just echo the rally?!

thanks askye -- I have met the other party once. he decided I wasn't worth speaking too. I try to stay out of things like this - unless someone starts it with me.

And we do have a some next steps at work and possibly a lot more time than I thought. so I am no longer filled with despair.

Taking space for your own grief is a gift to everyone who counts on you, Laura.

I am so, very sorry for your loss and the compounding of that loss.

Blessings of peace on your heart, my dear. My heart aches for you.

beth, that really was my thought...after I stopped feeling betrayed.

She must have realized that she stepped in it because there were several messages, while I was working today, that amounted to, "Oh no! I haven't heard from you and I'm SO worried!!!! If I don't hear from you, I'm going to have to reach out to mutual friends, or whatever, to make sure you are okay.'

The demandy 'take care of MY feelings' spasm felt kind of bullying in itself.

Chillax lady. I have this. I always had it. Just didn't think I needed to pretend like it didn't effect me for your comfort.

Sheesh.

Love and hairpats to them that wants 'em. Tried to say something more but couldn't spell it, nit even close enough to get help from spellcheck. So I had to go back and do with smaller words.

Tired and anxious about new job.