Sometimes take it hour by hour.

You guys, I just can't. My bro and SiL are divorcing (she cheated on him and has always has been a horrible person - nice job, bro). She thought she was moving out and dating this guy she was doing - he dumped her when he found out she wanted to get serious. She had two job interviews and thought she had both in the can. Nope, not a one.

She came home from shadowing someone on one of the jobs she ended up not getting and my bro had left a bunch of boxes and packing paper out for her to start packing it up. She apparently freaked the fuck out, called her mom hysterical and now her mom is calling my mom. W.T.F.

I had to tell my mom to just keep saying, "This is between J and N. I have no say in it." Bro is remaining firm that he's done. Why the fuck does my mom have to have this stress - and by extension, ME???

I have knots in my stomach waiting to hear back from my mom when she's off the phone with N's mom. My mom has called me in tears many times since this happened - this shit is not right. And neither of these "parents" is doing the right thing with their kids. I'm furious with both of them. I'm just DONE. Adult, people!

Ugh, Glam! What a mess. Does SiL just expect your brother to stay with her now that she doesn't have another option? Definitely not your mother's fault. Can she just not answer the calls from Sil's mom?

I think SiL is trying to act like, "Counseling, work it out, blah, blah" but it's only because her little plan fell apart. I don't know what is going to happen but I wish my brother would just handle it instead of making my mom some sort of go between. N's mom called bro for my mom's number. Like just tell her no? This is between your daughter and me? Is that so difficult? N blew her life up and now we're supposed to come running to help her? She has always been awful to all of us - selfish, narcissist, black hole. #byefelicia

I know I'm an asshole, but seriously!

I know I'm an asshole, but seriously!

No, I think in this case the word you're looking for is "adult."

I know I'm an asshole, but seriously!

No, I think in this case the word you're looking for is "adult."

This!

Make me promise to stay out of my children's relationships! I have been blessed that my parents and DH's parents are both totally hands off.

I'm sorry that your family is going through this, Glam. Divorce is really hard, but that much harder when others insert themselves into the mix. Strength to your brother.

I know I'm an asshole, but seriously!

Glam, there is someone being an asshole, but you ain't the one. Creating and defending healthy boundaries for yourself, and advocating for same for people you care about is not assholery.

Steph, my mom used to go to Recovery International [link] meetings to manage her depression and anxiety (she had been hospitalized a couple of times for "nervous breakdowns" and the medications available forty years ago were less than optimal for use while caring for small children). Spoilerfonted so you only have to read the advice if you want it. Mom taught me a couple of the tools she learned there. First thing is, when you feel overwhelmed don't try to make it through the day - you only have to make it through the next minute. Second thing, here are a couple phrases that she used to coach herself through those minutes: 1) Feelings aren't facts. And 2) Move your muscles. So you feel like things are never going to get better? I won't say it is ok to feel that way. There is nothing ok about having so little hope. I have all compassion and sorrow for you that you feel this way. And "feelings aren't facts" does not ask you to pretend you are not feeling what you feel. You can acknowledge that you feel this hopeless and still choose to act in the cause of hope. That's where "move your muscles" comes in. Whether it is physical movement of stretching, walking or other exercise because it will help your body feel better and also cause your brain to release endorphins which will cause your emotions to feel better or moving on work or other tasks you have in front of you to get done, it is about not sitting frozen in fear. To get through the next minute, move your muscles. A third principle is endorsing yourself. Recognize any positive step you take, and praise yourself for it. Here are some things you have done well today - you shared your feelings here with people who love and support you. You are choosing to go to your class tonight. You are making a good decision to not watch the debate tonight. If advice is not what you want, then what I can say is, you have all the support and love and purrs that Harvey and I can shove through the internet for you. It's ok to not be ok.

I do appreciate all that, Andi. Thanks.

If any of it helps, I'm glad.

I found it helpful to store in the back of my mind too. Thanks, WindSparrow.