Check shoes for hidden electromagnets?
But seriously. Personal mini-reset. I've found that cupping my hands over my eyes and taking 5 long deep breaths whole focusing heavily on the exhale is surprisingly helpful.
'Out Of Gas'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Check shoes for hidden electromagnets?
But seriously. Personal mini-reset. I've found that cupping my hands over my eyes and taking 5 long deep breaths whole focusing heavily on the exhale is surprisingly helpful.
I took Ativan, and now I'm just sleepy and convinced I destroy things, but also that I can't handle everything breaking. I know that a laptop (even one I earn my livelihood with) and a TV are just things, and they mean nothing compared to the bigger stuff I was so worried about earlier this year, with Tim's heath. And we can replace a TV and laptop. But I just can't take thing after thing after thing breaking or otherwise being horrible news.
Every day, all day, I worry about Tim. His lungs may be fine, but I worry about his RA, and if the Humira will ever work, and whether he'll stop having so much pain. I worry about him so much. I worry every day about the pets, because they're both old and I'll be surprised, honestly, if either one of them makes it to 2017. And it's going to gut me. Every day I worry about my job, that I'm not good enough, that they don't want me any more, and I have to say, I am in NO SHAPE to have a 9-5 job in an office with other people where I have to wear clothes that button and talk to people. Working from home is conducive to having a total mental collapse. Can I tell you the truth? I can't actually believe I work every day. Like, get work done. But I do. I need to not lose this job. I worry about SO MUCH every day, and I am just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
And I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Because the bad things just keep happening. And I can't imagine ever feeling any differently than this. I know I used to, but I can't imagine it changing from what it is right now. Ever.
(I'm not dramatically disappearing; I'm just about 2 seconds from falling asleep thanks to the Ativan, so I have to go to bed.)
Rest well, dear one.
I'll be hoping you wake feeling SO much better, but will setle for restorative sleep. Sweet dreams.
Steph, I went looking for a blessing to put here, to vibe for you while you sleep but none said just what I want. So I will do my best....
May your sleep be sweet. May it renew your strength. May your rest this night be true rest so that both body and mind feel more at ease in the morning. May you find help in the morning for what troubles you.
Rest well, Steph.
I hope your mind will rest as well as your body Steph.
I hope you got some good sleep, Steph.
Steph, I hope you're feeling better today!
It's always the relatively minor stuff that makes me completely lose my shit. I hope you got good sleep, Steph.