Ativan? Have you eaten? Are you thirsty?
Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. She really wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.
Spike ,'Conversations with Dead People'
Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Dana - Oct 18, 2016 4:48:40 pm PDT #27041 of 30002
I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.
Kate P. - Oct 18, 2016 4:49:48 pm PDT #27042 of 30002
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love
Would some sort of quick fix help (like watching something on the computer instead)? Or distraction? Do you have anything you can take that might help (like meds, or maybe something to eat or drink)?
EpicTangent - Oct 18, 2016 4:52:53 pm PDT #27043 of 30002
Why isn't everyone pelting me with JOY, dammit? - Zenkitty
Take Kato for a walk around the block?
P.M. Marc - Oct 18, 2016 4:57:15 pm PDT #27044 of 30002
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear
Bath? Listening to silly music?
Your brain's in a lie loop right now. There's been a lot of crap you've had to handle, so of COURSE the little shit is going to be too much, but it's not that you're breaking things: things are breaking, but you're not at fault for everything that breaks.
sj - Oct 18, 2016 4:58:36 pm PDT #27045 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Teppy, I'm sorry. We're here with whatever you need. Everyone else has had good suggestions.
erin_obscure - Oct 18, 2016 5:00:35 pm PDT #27046 of 30002
Occasionally I’m callous and strange
Check shoes for hidden electromagnets?
But seriously. Personal mini-reset. I've found that cupping my hands over my eyes and taking 5 long deep breaths whole focusing heavily on the exhale is surprisingly helpful.
Steph L. - Oct 18, 2016 6:35:17 pm PDT #27047 of 30002
I look more rad than Lutheranism
I took Ativan, and now I'm just sleepy and convinced I destroy things, but also that I can't handle everything breaking. I know that a laptop (even one I earn my livelihood with) and a TV are just things, and they mean nothing compared to the bigger stuff I was so worried about earlier this year, with Tim's heath. And we can replace a TV and laptop. But I just can't take thing after thing after thing breaking or otherwise being horrible news.
Every day, all day, I worry about Tim. His lungs may be fine, but I worry about his RA, and if the Humira will ever work, and whether he'll stop having so much pain. I worry about him so much. I worry every day about the pets, because they're both old and I'll be surprised, honestly, if either one of them makes it to 2017. And it's going to gut me. Every day I worry about my job, that I'm not good enough, that they don't want me any more, and I have to say, I am in NO SHAPE to have a 9-5 job in an office with other people where I have to wear clothes that button and talk to people. Working from home is conducive to having a total mental collapse. Can I tell you the truth? I can't actually believe I work every day. Like, get work done. But I do. I need to not lose this job. I worry about SO MUCH every day, and I am just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
And I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Because the bad things just keep happening. And I can't imagine ever feeling any differently than this. I know I used to, but I can't imagine it changing from what it is right now. Ever.
Steph L. - Oct 18, 2016 6:37:15 pm PDT #27048 of 30002
I look more rad than Lutheranism
(I'm not dramatically disappearing; I'm just about 2 seconds from falling asleep thanks to the Ativan, so I have to go to bed.)
beekaytee - Oct 18, 2016 7:25:54 pm PDT #27049 of 30002
Compassionately intolerant
Rest well, dear one.
I'll be hoping you wake feeling SO much better, but will setle for restorative sleep. Sweet dreams.
WindSparrow - Oct 18, 2016 8:03:33 pm PDT #27050 of 30002
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Steph, I went looking for a blessing to put here, to vibe for you while you sleep but none said just what I want. So I will do my best....
May your sleep be sweet. May it renew your strength. May your rest this night be true rest so that both body and mind feel more at ease in the morning. May you find help in the morning for what troubles you.