And I haven't wanted to talk with you about it in a publicer place. I hope you are doing OK (it seems like you are), but if you need to vent...

I'm okay most days. I refuse to say fine anymore. Fine is a huge effing lie. There are too many emotions and shit tied up for anything in my life to be fine right now.

OK seems to cover it.

We split Em on a week on/week off schedule which she picked and it's working ok. I miss her when she's gone and sometimes look at the calendar and count the days until she goes again.

The split started pretty amicably, but then ... Starborn reappeared. And held up a mirror and told me that I could be angry and so long as I didn't damage the relationship between Em and her other parent, I had every right to feel my feels and make decisions based on those feels. So I did and am doing. And he doesn't like some of those decisions and lets me know. Which is fine - he has the right to that, as well. But ... this is my life and maybe later I'll regret not being his friend, but right now, I'm pretty cool with it.

I'm trying to be more "real talk" with myself and own my shit and look at it and unpack it and change, if need be, or make alterations or just embrace it.

Money is really tight. I have a second job three night a week and I do dog/cat/house sitting when I can for the extra cash. December - August was a really hard time last year, moneywise.

March - July was even worse due to a relationship that went so pear shaped it almost became a persimmon.

But I am OK. And getting more OK-er every day.

mini-meara:

Pencil Pouch Audit = SHEER BRILLIANCE. I am not at all surprised to hear that this plan sprung from the brains of our very own Empress.

Daniel! Cellulitis! Ack! DH was hospitalized with cellulitis in college and it was pretty nasty. I hope the treatment is swift and the recovery is smooth.

Everyone: I missed you guys! My job keeps me off the interwebs way too much these days! (Not by policy, just insanely busy and also open-plan office means everyone can see your browser.)

Yeah, I might go dark again when I go back to work at the end of the month...my employer released a new and VERY limiting social media policy after a few folks talked to a local reporter about t how appallingly short staffed we are and the very real affects on the public and public safety. So in theory I'm not allowed to talk about my employer or working conditions or policy on "social media." This board doesn't technically fall into their derfinition of "social media" so as long as I don't access it on a work computer or while connected to the wifi at work....should be copacetic.

Warning, asscaps ahead.

OMG JESSICA HIIIIIIII!!! ::sorority squee::

God, I didn't even realize how much I missed this.

I don't think I said it before, so leg~ma to DCJ.

I don't know any divorce that is fully amicable. At some point each person needs to become who they are as an individual instead of who they were as half of a pair, and that doesn't always sit well with the other. Still, it sounds like you are facing it clearly and being a great mom at the same time.

I have 3 huge monitors and an open office plan. And very understanding teammates.

Jessica, it's really good to see your pixels.

Glam, the schools are polling places but don't shut down on election day?

Nope, but they do have a 2 hour delay. Before this election, it wouldn't have pinged me at all. Sad times.

Aims, good to "see" you and all good wishes headed your way, my friend.

Yeah, the carpet's been changed and the God Awful wallpaper border is down, but in its place is soothing paint and a neat texture treatment someone learned on that flip it show with that couple. And the familiar comfy chair is in the corner and a pair of super porny pants hanging in the closet. And the kids are bigger and the marriages and relationships are changed. We're all looking a little changed, too.

This? This is what triggers allergies? Im trying to be calm, collected, reasonable, and cool, and this is what flips the waterworks? Hells yeah.

{{{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}}}

*unless hugging makes you uncomfortable in which case I will merely squee and clap my hands in your general direction*

That made me laugh like a drain.