Listen to Dr. Debet!
You are not alone in your complicated feelings. I think others are right about the centuries of guilt weighing on us. It's another form of internalized sexism. You are an adult who gets to make choices about how you spend the your time and money.
I also get the bitterness and denial of physical and mental limitations. Those are huge for me, especially right now. It's tough and scary. Hope you can ride these waves of self-judgment and make the decision that is actually best and wisest for you and Tim.
Oh, I want a traditional wife, who does nothing but take care of the house and household business. Or perhaps I want a butler or house manager. It's too important a job to foist it off on someone who became enamored of someone else and perhaps agreed to the arrangement in a moment of weakness.
To people who use rollers for plantar fasciitis in the feet--how hard do you press, how often do you do it, how soon do you see a result, how is it supposed to feel?
Hmm. Not so hard that you're in agony, but with enough pressure that you're actually digging into the ligament a bit, not just surface-level pressure.
I would say it hurts in that way that stretching a sore muscle does. You can tell there's a bit of resistance, but you're not hurting yourself further.
I had a PT evaluation yesterday to work on the lower back pain I've been having after going for long walks (long for me is a mile, but I'm going further and further each time). Apparently most of my muscles are as tight as a drum and while the others are weak from not having to put in the work thanks to the tight ones. And my walking gait is all f'ed up (I lead with my left hip apparently). So, PT twice a week on the other side of Denver for the next few weeks. I could go to a PT closer, but this is the office where Kelly works and her boss is "magic". Plus, I will HAVE to put in the work - can't skip exercises when Kelly will check up on me.
Steph, I feel all of that. I hate accepting physical limitations, I hate having a messy house, and I hate the thought of hiring someone to do it for me. But just accepting the mess isn't going to happen.
lower back pain I've been having after going for long walks
Is that a hamstring thing? If the hamstrings get all tight, they pull on your back excessively.
Teppy, agree with everyone else, the house cleaner I have is the best thing ever and I would give up cable before I give up having a cleaner. I have zero excuses of kids or illness or whatever (I'd blame my depression except I'm pretty sure the cleaning part is just lazy--I'm fine putting things away, but hate dusting/mopping). As Dr Debet said, you have a prescription for this. It will make you so happy! (And potential bonus: if you can convince Tim that some stuff needs to be put away in order for the cleaners to clean, it might be some impetus, even if that means "frantically run around the half hour before they come, putting things away"--that's what I do)
