Minor whine ahead:

Last week, I was terribly upset by the behavior of one of my colleagues. Not only was he unprofessional, and just plain crappy to me, but he dragged other employees into it by implying that I had done them wrong.

All the while, he simply hadn't understood what I was doing with a particular project and, frankly, I think he was drunk when he sent a message to a bunch of people about how my 'unacceptable lack of planning' was making his life a misery.

The owner of the company and I talked it over and I'm fine now. I won't ever trust him again. I had considered him a comrade, but no more. That changes nothing in terms of how I do my job, really.

The owner says she told him that his behavior warranted much more than an apology. "This is one of those, on your knees with flowers, kind of things."

Today I get an email (subject line: There is an elephant in the room) from him saying the SHE wants us to clear the air, so will I meet him for coffee tomorrow.

Um.

No.

I wrote back and said that if the owner is the one who needs the air cleared, I will speak directly to her.

I honestly can't remember the last time I didn't strive for the higher ground...seeing my part in the problem...offering solutions...turning shit into gold.

Not this time, I guess. I just don't have it.

good for you bonny. I hate it when people want to apologize and inconvenience you further or want you to feel uncomfortable.

Just do your work and stay out of my way. We don't need to be friends.

Just do your work and stay out of my way. We don't need to be friends.

This is it precisely.

It really just feels like I'd be sitting awkwardly in a coffee shop while he waited for me to make it okay for him.

No, thank you.

In the perfect representation of him simply not getting it, here is his reply to my reply.

Understood,

But you may, occasionally, need to speak directly to me too.

As far as I'm concerned, its in the past now - I hope you feel the same way.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

I'm so glad it's okay for him. That's a relief.

Fuck that guy.

Why yes, I'm in a super charitable mood, how could you tell?

It's that fucknut on facebook whose brother can turn shit into chicken sandwiches, isn't it? As Joe Biden would say, Lord love him(probably because nobody else would want to)

Oh, it gets even better.

The _truth_ is, I owe HIM an apology. The owner and he have agreed that I should not be responsible for projects like this in the future.

She's going to LOVE hearing that.

It's gotten so absurd that I can't even be angry anymore.

The bottom line is, she needs him...he really does do a good job when he's not acting like a child...and I don't want to make life harder for her. So. I'll let it go... mostly because I know better than to negotiate with crazy.

erika, the saddest part is that he is a super nice guy, and not even a Nice Guy. He's also been bombarding me with information about how we all need to eat local, and I'm like, dude, where the fuck have you been? I've been pissed at Monsanto since at least 1998. Do you not see me posting pictures of my haul from my farmer's market? Sharing statuses of my friends who are farmers?

And how the FUCK are Walmart workers supposed to afford to eat local?

bonny, what? I'm confused. Did the owner say that, or is he saying that? Who's the "she" in this instance?

Honestly, now I'm not mad as much as I am sincerely worried that there is something actually wrong with this guy.

He escalated the email stream to saying that I don't need to apologize to him, but SHE does. Yep, smonster, She is the owner, his employer of the last three years.

I told him that I understood and agreed that I should not be the lead on projects...mostly because I know G, the owner never said such rubbish. It's so outrageous...especially after the email I received from her telling me how indespensible I am to her...that I figured I should just back away calmly.

I asked if he could help me out by helping me to understand what I need to apologize for. He replied with, "I've always done everything for the betterment of the company."

Scratching my head, I replied, "I could say the same for myself and, frankly, I've done nothing but support you to the fullest, cheered you on and sung your praises...how I suddenly become the enemy not only hurts me deeply on a personal level, but...and I'm not being sarcastic here...totally mystifies me. You are the lynchpin and no one disputes that."

He replied, "You are not my enemy - I hope

I'm not good with children, so help ne out....

Take care,"

I'm not good with children, so help me out?

I don't even know what that means!

Oh god. Now I'm concerned that my surmise that he was drinking when he caused the first fracas might actually have been correct.

Lord. That's all we need.

It would be nice, sure. Just like I would, on one level, like to totally decrease my footprint by being completely vegetarian. On a philosophical level that excites me more than on a gastronomic one. But I can make changes in my habits to limit meaty meals, and turn up the thermostat.