I don't think you killed the thread, Steph - I am having a super hard time being able to focus on anything but my own self-absorption, which is considerable and my shame of that has led me to delete my recent posts here.

I just can't brain anymore - every situation I deal with/encounter leads to: 1) rage 2) tears 3) to the bone exhaustion. Saw the shrink yesterday, she doesn't think it's PTSD, but probably significant anxiety, and we did a small meds adjustment.

I'm rage-y at work at the moment. Stuff that is another department is messed up but t affects me, and when we met to go over the issues I looked at the first page and went "wtf this is all messed up" and they had not even meant that page to be more than a reference, it's a two-year-old reference and no on had noticed the table was all messed up. Aaaaargh.

Argh!

Steph, you're not whining, you're venting, and well deserved. You didn't kill the thread, the thread was tired and needed to have a little lie-down, that's all!

Me, I just hate to keep saying, "Yeah ME TOO" to, like, every post you make. I've been avoiding going back to therapy because I'm so sick of telling my life story to new doctors. I want to just write it up on a flashcard - "here, this'll get'cha up to speed" and let's move on. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Nora, anxiety is a totally normal response to what happened to you! It sucks balls, but please don't be ashamed to talk about it!

meara, I feel your rage. Or maybe that's my rage. I dunno. Flames on the side of my face! I am so over work shit.

Whoopi Goldberg has a new line of cannabis-infused rubs and soaks (for the body, not for food) that's meant to help with menstrual cramps, and I want it but it's only available in California. How can I get some? Actually, I'm ready to try edible pot again (no smoking, it's bad for my asthma). Do I have to move to Washington?

Actually, I'm ready to try edible pot again (no smoking, it's bad for my asthma). Do I have to move to Washington?

Or Colorado.

Move to Washington!! Or Colorado. Or California.

I have jacked up my shoulder somehow. I don't remember doing anything to it but more and more it is hurting like hell. I guess I need to make a doctor appointment, but I have no idea what's wrong with it--something torn? Fingers crossed its a "take anti-inflammatory and wear a sling for a few days" thing, and it's only not healing because I keep using it?? But it hurts kind of a lot, most days now. :(

I realized today after I ate I need to get blood drawn. And it needs to be fasting. I keep forgetting and eating something.

Monday I'm doing this, I have an appointment Thursday so hopefully they'll get the results. I half way want to cancel everything since I can't do this...

but that's not really me talking. It's various fears and stuff afriad of 1) being chastised by the doctor for not getting it down sooner and 2) worried about what the test results will be.

Since I can't do counter that right now. Instead I counted the "what's the point of working out" voice and looked up Fitness Marshall on Youtube and worked up a sweat, even if I wasn't doing the moves "right" I did them good enough to get my heart rate up.

Good workout, askye! And good work on powering through your fears.

What zenkitty said about the thread napping.

Or Colorado.

Colorado. Definitely!!! I've actually been sleeping a lot better and haven't been resorting to my edibles like I had been.

Today is work, laundry, work, laundry, work, homework, housework, homework. Wheeee?

Tomorrow will be my last day at the horse therapy place. The gal I was the assistant to quit and last week was her last day. They don't have anyone to replace her and, honestly with school, I just don't have the time I used to. So I said I'd stay through the next new volunteer training and then I needed to step away.

I don't want to move! Not yet anyway. I just want to try it! I'll just go visit Suzi and eat some of her unused edibles and buy her lots of pizza. I'll spend a weekend being a loser sleeping on someone else's couch in my underwear and Bogarting their pot. Exciting! I've never done that before! Suzi, you're okay with being conscripted into my pothead loser fantasy, right?