I thought about going back to bed, and it sounds so unappealing. I mean, what is that? That reaction is proof that wires are definitely crossed in my brain.

I'm going to eat lunch and see if that helps.

Sending love, Steph. I've been where you are and it truly sucks.

I have this app Paced Breathing. It's nit a magic cure all but I have it set for 3 minutes and usually I start feeling slightly calmer after a minute and then it lasts for maybe 5 minutes or less if I'm really stressed. But fir those few minutes it's a small bit of relief.

Steph, obviously YMMV. But I've found that a break in the routine helps. Even something as simple as going out for a cuppa and sitting for a while. It's no cure, but it keeps me going for a few more hours -- and sometimes, that's enough.

Steph, you have had so much grief, loss, pain, worry, stress this year. It has been unrelenting. It's perfectly reasonable that when things pile up so badly that a person would find it hard to cope alone. Here's the thing, if you are broken by circumstances and by how you are wired, it's ok. It doesn't feel ok, but it is ok. It is also ok to not be broken. Can I ask you something? If the shoe were on the other foot, and you were the one facing a major chronic illness and you found out that Tim was under as much strain as you currently are to the point that he felt like he was breaking, would you want him to protect you from his stress, or would you want to share it so you could cope (or not) together?

I can't fix any of this for you, really. I don't have solutions for you. But I can say this, whether you are broken, breaking, or bending with the pressure, Steph, you are valued, you are loved, you are liked. I like you, I love you, I value you. And I am not the only one. You deserve support, and comfort, and space to cope.

Steph, if you want some company for coffee or dinner or something, let me know. (Or if being around people would be too much, I totally get that, too.)

Teppy, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and I'm glad you feel comfortable enough here not to censor yourself. Be kind to our friend, and do what you can, when you can.

I'm sorry, Tep.

I know I can't help, but I wish I could. I hope the therapist you find is a good one who can, though.

Steph, if you want some company for coffee or dinner or something, let me know. (Or if being around people would be too much, I totally get that, too.)

Thanks so much for the offer, but I haven't even gotten out of my jammies today. I have gotten some work done, and I have done the dishes, so I feel like I didn't waste the entire day. I keep trying to convince myself to at least walk to the corner and back (which is 1/2 mile round trip). But I would have to change to do that.

Online dating continues to be confusing. Why do people who live on other continents send me messages? Why do people click "like" on my profile, but then not respond when I send them a message? Why can I not find a photo that works? If I put up a photo that shows my body (in shorts and a tank top, not like a bikini or anything, and it's a really cute picture, I think), then I get all kinds of gross messages about my breasts, but if I put up a photo that just shows my face, then no one responds to any messages I send.