I'm sorry, Erika. I didn't have any kind of normal relationship with my father until I was nearly 30. His inability to understand how to communicate with non-adults really, then I didn't live near him until he became ill. Then as adults we got along fine because I understood his oddness and I believe gave him comfort in his last year.
Death of a parent often changes a person, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I sincerely hope that your father's loss of parent, when that does happen, may give him a new valuation of family that he hasn't demonstrated to date.
Connie - it doesn't take something as tramuatic as that. I've really struggled with accepting I have PTSD because it feels like nothing that bad happened, it was just medical stuff and bullying but from my experiences with the support group I'm in sometimes it's a combination of things that happen.
Well, Laura, whether that happens or not, it's a nice thought. Also, I appreciate that you didn't make me feel like a nut.
Parental relationships are super complex.
Erika, I'm sorry. You deserve better.
ltc's first molar is poking through. I wonder if that is why her appetite hasn't been great the last couple days?
A much better day today! The kind words of support I've gotten here and on Facebook has really helped a lot. Got a lot of stuff done and feeling like I'm moving on.
Maybe literally? We looked at a couple houses tonight... this was something in the works before all the shooting shenanigans.
This is the one that I really liked the look of tonight: [link]
This is the one I think we'll be looking at on Friday: [link]
We'll see how all that shakes out.
I like both of them, Nora. Good luck!
erika, not letting others' dysfunction feel like they belong to something inside yourself is almost impossible. From what you've said about him, I can see why you think he is likely to ghost. I hope Laura is right, though.
My inlaws are probably not coming today because TCG's stepmom' snack is giving her trouble, and I'm the terrible person who is only thinking of how this is affecting me. ION, why does no one deliver lattes?
I'm sorry about your messed-up relationship with your father, erika. I never had a normal relationship with mine either, well they divorced when I was 5 and he never came back so not much relationship at all really. It's so hard to figure out how you feel about a troubled and troublesome parent, or even what you really want from them. IME if they're just going to be shits to you and leave, better off without them, but not like that doesn't hurt too.
Nora&Tom, I wanted to yell GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT but felt that was inappropriate, so I'm personally very happy you're thinking of moving! That was just too frightening, y'all deserve to live in a place where you can feel safe. (Well, everyone does.) The first house is cute with that center fireplace, but I might come down there and fight you for the second one.
I . . . have felt like this for most of my life.
Connie, me too. fwiw, you are so not alone. I thought it was just the way I am, but so many traumatic things happened to me before I was even 5, I'm not sure I can ever sort out the "normal" me from the PTSD me. PTSD is a real thing, warzones not even necessary.
Speaking of which, the psychiatrist's office has not called me back. Of course not.
