I just made a doctor's appointment. I need to find a new doctor it's too hard to get in lately.

Also a debrist appointment which I've been dreading because last time I tried it was month wait. Now I'm going next Thursday.

And I only mildly want to cry. So that's something.

Exercising often leads to soreness.

A partner's health issues should provoke concern.

Getting your house shot up while you're in it does prompt a freak out.

You are both having completely normal and understandable feels. (The word "loser" is in no way applicable to you in this scenario, Nora. I'd be fetal in a corner of someone else's house for a week. Damn!)

Tep, I'd feel the same anxiety...but also an earlier appointment could be better, because waiting lon gre and worrying longer would be so much more stress in addition to existing stress.

I hope y'all are gentle with yourselves.

I kind of feel like my father won't have anything to do with me after my grandmother dies.(Not that it's ever more than a couple times a year anyway, and not like I'm not edgy the whole time anyway.) He spends a lot of time not looking like a jerk in front of her, and that will be gone soon, since the sibs kind of...well, I wouldn't say "don't speak* bit when you say brothers and sisters you don't think about folks like them, so the pressure will be off. I kind of expect him to ghost fully. I know he's not normal, right, that Sheldon Cooper crap is, like better onscreen, but I'm still upset about it. Even for a normal person this would be a bad period for trying to talk to him about Us, anyway, even if that's a thing with family members(though I largely suspect it's not.) He would just say he's Busy Working anyway, because we have met before, you know what I mean. And my mom would just say "Of course he loves you...he wouldn't do that." but, aside from a brief and mawkish fondness for "Forever and Ever Amen" by Randy Travis when I was a teen, he hasn't really shown me that he wouldn't.

From the current Humans of New York series.

PTSD creates the feeling that something terrible is always around the corner. It can cause anxiety, confusion, and isolation from loved ones. But worst of all, it can make it seem like things will never get better. Most of my clients report a sense of foreshortened future.

I . . . have felt like this for most of my life. I have always assumed that every good thing is just the partner for karmic payback. I have been happily anticipating moving to a new place but at the same time wondering what catastrophe is going to come with it. And I've got nothing as traumatic as a warzone or abuse in my history. I guess the therapist just moved up on my priority list.

I'm sorry, Erika. I didn't have any kind of normal relationship with my father until I was nearly 30. His inability to understand how to communicate with non-adults really, then I didn't live near him until he became ill. Then as adults we got along fine because I understood his oddness and I believe gave him comfort in his last year.

Death of a parent often changes a person, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I sincerely hope that your father's loss of parent, when that does happen, may give him a new valuation of family that he hasn't demonstrated to date.

Connie - it doesn't take something as tramuatic as that. I've really struggled with accepting I have PTSD because it feels like nothing that bad happened, it was just medical stuff and bullying but from my experiences with the support group I'm in sometimes it's a combination of things that happen.

Well, Laura, whether that happens or not, it's a nice thought. Also, I appreciate that you didn't make me feel like a nut.

Parental relationships are super complex.

Erika, I'm sorry. You deserve better.

ltc's first molar is poking through. I wonder if that is why her appetite hasn't been great the last couple days?

A much better day today! The kind words of support I've gotten here and on Facebook has really helped a lot. Got a lot of stuff done and feeling like I'm moving on.

Maybe literally? We looked at a couple houses tonight... this was something in the works before all the shooting shenanigans.

This is the one that I really liked the look of tonight: [link]

This is the one I think we'll be looking at on Friday: [link]

We'll see how all that shakes out.