You can most definitely do this, sj, and if the anxiety hits you can probably go outside by yourself for a bit and get centered.
I hate asking for help and I worry people are going to think I'm an unfit mother.
Both very natural worries, but also things you can tell your brain to shut up about. Knowing when you need help and knowing that you can ask for it are life skills and successful strategies, not signs of failure. And anyone who thinks you are an unfit mother is a little mind and you can ignore their bullshit. You are clearly devoted and loving and wonderful and meeting your baby's needs.
None of us are perfect parents, certainly not me. But what I do have going for me is that I know by now that even with all my imperfections, my kids will have their needs cared for, they know they are loved and know that I am there for them, wherever that may lead.
What Burrell said. A zillion times.
My mood issues I've been having for the past however - I realized finally it was sort of a slow burn meltdown. I'm kind of over it.
I was able to go to therapy and talk about some semi tough stuff AND go to my nephew's 1st grade ... not play but...musical presentation. 5 classes, 7 total songs. It was over in about an hour. I don't really want to be around anyone for the rest of the day (kind of not an option but Thursday is usually a day Mom's out of hte house all day). So I'm holding out until Thursday.
You are not an unfit mother SJ! I wish I could smack anyone who says that. Also asking for help is hard but I hope the volunteers oooh and aawww over the adorableness that is ltc and offer to help you with stuff becuas they want to spend more time cooing over her.
I hope the volunteers oooh and aawww over the adorableness that is ltc and offer to help you with stuff becuas they want to spend more time cooing over her.
Shoot, I know I would. In a heartbeat.
Separately, CALLING ALL BUFFISTAE - please check out my post in Beep Me (probably should have put it in Press, too late now).
We're home, and I had a good time. Everyone did ooh and ahhh over ltc and remarked at home incredibly good she was. Then we came home, and I gave ltc her lunch and put her down for a nap. Those top teeth finally broke through and she is making up for lost sleep. So, I'm watching last night's Colbert and making a cuppa because our afternoon plans were canceled.
Yay, sj! I wanted to mention that I did my first comedy gig in front of an audience on Sunday night as the "final" for my stand-up class. It went really well--even people who didn't know me laughed. Performing is exciting and nervous-making and challenging and I am going to keep at it. I'm taking the class again and I'm also going to start doing some open mikes.
Nothing like starting something new at age 59.
Go, Scrappy! I really admire you so much.
That's terrific, Scrappy!
Go Scrappy!!! When you tour Denver, let me know.
Scrappy, that's great!
Tim's youngest niece is graduating from high school tonight. SiL texted *yesterday* to tell us it was tonight and were we going to be able to make it? The monthly ADD meeting is tonight, and Tim is in charge of the adult group, and he decided that he was not going to bail and try to find a backup with 24 hours' notice, so he's going to the meeting. That's fair. I said that I'd go to graduation by myself so that Beckmeyer Team #4 at least has one person there. And I really don't mind, even though niece's graduating class is (to my mind) pretty damn large, so the ceremony takes forever.
But all day I've been having jittery, gritchy anxiety for no reason that I can identify. (Nothing new, I mean.) But I've been anxious all day, and since I'm going to niece's graduation by myself, I'm (obviously) driving myself, so I can't take an Ativan before I go (about 45 minutes from now). Though I'll probably take one as soon as I get there, because that ceremony won't be done for close to 3 hours, so I'll be fine to drive by then. (And, actually, I'm pretty sure I've driven after taking Ativan before, but I just want to be safe.)
Bad timing, man.
