Sorry for the POST Cereal...

Erika: No. Nobody gets to do everything, and all these assholes who suggest we can, if we just do it right, need to eat shit and die.

That said, I realize I'm opining from a place of privilege in relation to you. I don't say that to lord it over you. I say that, because I want you to realize that there are plenty of people, regardless of physical ability who don't get "THERE."

Still, I think there are a lot of us who have things to say that are of Chris Hayes' caliber, but we don't get to (at least to a wide audience) because we don't have the right connections.

That said, you need to know you are one of the people who have most affected my adult life. So while that pays NOTHING, you are not without your influence.

Still, I hope your talent gets recognized at the level you deserve. You are insightful, witty, and damned smart, girl.

)

(I just had to close your parenthetical there, Cindy. I HAD TO.)

Why, whatever do you mean? :p (Also? Thank you. I hate when I do that!)

And I get you -- I don't sleep well when Tim is home. Even if he's just camping for 1 night.

I don't even get why that happens. I slept alone as a young, single woman. I slept alone as a young mother, when he traveled and I had three babies in my care. Why, now, do I fail to settle down?

(Also, Tep, just kidding on the grammar stuff. Thank you for having my back.)

without hearing a voice in my head all "Maybe you could have done that...if you weren't, like, defective!"

Always, but it could be if you weren't so lazy, or if you didn't have kids young, or if you didn't have to help support your single parent, or if you weren't the wrong gender/race/class. The list is endless. Thing is yes, could have because the talent/intellect/skill was there, but there are just so many variables. Many of the variables being in the right place at the right moment with exactly the right combo of IT. There are countless people with talents in sports/arts/law/whatever that may possess greater skills than those that reach the top, but it doesn't happen.

So yeah, short version, it sucks.

Awww, Cindy. Sings lullaby. I hope restful sleep happens soon. I am up past my bedtime, but it is because of noisy house occupants. I do have to at least get off the computer and switch to Nook though and call it a day.

proving he knows the way FROM San Jose.

giggle

Oh, Laura, I'm okay, now. Scott came home last night. I am just not yet caught up on my sleep. Still? I'll take the lullaby.

My noisiest occupant is currently at college, so we're okay. I just have a sleep deficit.

Well at least he is back now, proving he knows the way FROM San Jose.

LMAO, Typo Boy.

(Also, Tep, just kidding on the grammar stuff. Thank you for having my back.)

All my parentheses are belong to you, my very best Cindy.

without hearing a voice in my head all "Maybe you could have done that...if you weren't, like, defective!"

I had coffee with my mom yesterday, and she spent most of the time talking about my brother, and how she thinks -- and hopes -- that he's on a good path to maintain sobriety now. [ED: It really seems like he is, thank god.] But she was also saying how at Easter when people asked about Jeff, she didn't mention his horrific relapse or my trip out there. She said that sometimes it's hard to compare him -- and me -- with our cousins, who are extremely extremely successful in their careers, with huge homes and lifestyles to boot.

She was basically tactful the way she said it, less like she was disappointed in us and more like she knows there's no point in comparing the outsides of people's lives to the insides of our lives. I don't *want* the careers my cousins have. I don't want their lifestyles. And my mom gets that, but it's still the first hint I've heard that she has some issues of pride going on there, about how her kids measure up.

(I, of course, think that we're happy and healthy and good people and not dead from an operatic relapse into drinking [okay, that's more my brother than me], and that's really all that matters. I'm glad my cousins are successful. I hope that they're happy, though.)

(And, of course, I have days where I feel like I should try harder and be more. And those days? Do emphatically SUCK. But I think we all probably have those days. Hell, my successful cousins probably do, too.)

My mom can brag about the somewhat ridiculous number of years of education and degrees that my sister and I have, but she still sometimes compares us to our cousins who have spouses and babies. (I mean, I do want a husband and kids. Just haven't yet figured out how to get that to happen.)

(I, of course, think that we're happy and healthy and good people and not dead from an operatic relapse into drinking [okay, that's more my brother than me], and that's really all that matters. I'm glad my cousins are successful. I hope that they're happy, though.)

I'm really trying to let go of the operatic drinking, right now. Like for whoa. I didn't even see it coming. I think it happened as a "I didn't even know I was self-treating" my anxiety.

(And, of course, I have days where I feel like I should try harder and be more. And those days? Do emphatically SUCK. But I think we all probably have those days. Hell, my successful cousins probably do, too.)

Well, there are lots of successful people who do.

How is your dad, and how is his Cordy cardiac doc?

My Dad is doing pretty well, and still works at the grocery store at the age of 74 because he's too bored just being retired.

And his Cordy cardiac doc actually told him this week that she's leaving the practice. He doesn't know if he's going to switch to a different doctor in the practice (which is an excellent practice), or find out if she's opening her own practice and follow her there.