Laura, I'm sorry. I have no sage advice to offer, but I am always willing to listen. You should have my number, but if you don't, please let me know. Much love to you and Brendon, because I know how personally you're taking this. I hope Son #1 will find a way out that leads to long-term stability and a measure of peace.

Because it sounds a lot like he might have schizoaffective disorder that he is trying to self-medicate for.

I am SO not a doctor, but that's the first thing I thought too, when I read your description, Laura. I know from personal experience that it can be really hard to see the symptoms of mental disorder when a person's using.

Just a Psych Minor here, but I thought the same thing, Laura. I really hope he can find the help he needs. Much strength to you and all 3 of your fellas as you're working through this.

Is there anyone you maybe could ask at rehab, Laura? Again, not a professional, but sure sounds like a distinct enough possibility that it should be looked into.

They released him. Sigh. Of course I have to pick him up. I have discussed with him seeing someone, many times. He absolutely has issues. The problem is convincing him. We have an old friend/customer that is a psychiatrist and she would happily see him and help him. But of course he would have to be willing.

I hope it's not piling on but maybe he does have some mental health issues that are intertwined with the addiction. Maybe at the hospital they can get him evaluated.

That's so hard, Laura. I hope getting him out of Florida helps to at least break up his routine and maybe let him be more open to the idea of professional help.

Maybe there's some way to frame it that might get him into it, Laura? Like, he could do this in order to convince you/the doctors/the police that he's right (whatever that means)? Or, if you do this, it will get X off your case.

Though I defer to anyone with any kind of practical experience.

Sending you lots of love and strength, Laura. I am glad that the possibility of an underlying disorder is on your radar even if you aren't sure yet how to get him to seek help. Maybe your psychiatrist friend has some recs for support groups for you?

The social worker called me. He had money so he told them he would catch a bus. I'll likely see him at some point.

He knows and accepts that he is depressed, but we have never managed to get him to do anything about it. He only ends up in the delusional place if he is stupid enough to take hallucinogens. He knows better, and yet he is at this party or whatever and... His depression manifests in lack of self care, insomnia, and feeling of failure and that sort of stuff. He is absurdly smart and researches it and so forth, but doesn't act on his findings.

When he shows up I'll go over his options, again. See what happens. Right now I like his cousin's ranch. Horses, chickens, lots of farm chores and stuff. Early to bed, early to rise and lots of physical labor. The wife is an RN and they have a 20 something son. Dad and son work full time on ranch chores. They are right wing political, which will result in massive debates, but I think that will be okay.

Who knows. Now I have to wait until I see him or hear from him since he destroyed his phone.

Thank you for all the love and support. Obviously I can't talk about it a lot of places.