I feel a little sad. There are several women on that board who have been widows for much longer than I, and they're still bound up in their loss, still finding it so very difficult to recreate their lives. I'm still smacked sideways with grief, I don't suppose I'll ever be past that, but I'm not consumed with daily sadness. I wish I could share with some of my sad sisterhood how to do it.

Connie, it's something everyone needs to figure out for themselves. It's all different, and all we can do is find a little peace for ourselves. I'm glad that you could take that next step.

t fist bump

Oy. My parents. My mom just emailed me to say that they found the certificate for $1000 in Israel Bonds that my grandparents got for me, and they want to know what I want to do with it. That's probably been sitting in a drawer for 20 years now.

Bitches shopping alert: Zulily just posted a shitton of superhero-themed clothes and gewgaws for girls and women -- some cheesy pinky stuff but some really nice things, too, including a couple of gorgeous Black Widow posters and some fun Powerpuff Girls things. Linkety-link.

In the latest episode of the Parenting Sucks series, #1 is back in rehab. I had several calls last night and this morning from an unknown number, which I ignored because I do not answer unknown callers. Then he called his dad and got an answer. Paranoid and delusional. Ran into the road to flag down a police officer yesterday to save him from the people out to kill him. They took him to rehab and gave him the choice of voluntary or baker. He signed voluntary. He had already smashed and thrown away his phone, again.

I went to see him at 2 and he of course got mad when I suggested that the multiple illegal drugs in his system might have influenced his perception. To avoid him getting too agitated and cutting the visit short I changed the subject to superbowl. He called me tonight during the game and said after reflection he thinks they were just trying to scare him because they could have killed him and didn't. The worst part is that even after the drugs are out of his system he never accepts that it was delusion. I apparently just think he is a liar. Sigh.

So now he says that Florida is no longer safe for him because of the people after him. Never will do that kind of stuff again, like the last couple times. We have family in 3 different states that will take him into safe loving environments if he is still willing to go away after he gets released. Family away from big city environments. He is likely to be released after a couple more days. Unless the powers that be decide to keep him because of his level of paranoia.

He is 24. I told him he got himself into this mess again and he is the only one to get himself out of it. We'll give him the other living arrangement options but we can't fix him. He has to choose another path.

Short version. Parenting sucks.

Thin mints:

And of course I found this out when I was 2-1/2 hours away on the other side of the state visiting with my mom and siblings. Had to cheerily say I had to get back for work stuff and to prepare for superbowl party. At 9am this morning. They didn't seem to doubt my story for my early departure. I had gone over at noon yesterday so they just figured I didn't want to drive back at night and just stayed over till morning. Can't burden Mom with this stuff.

ugh, Laura, I'm sorry.

Not really a lot to be said or done. This is one place I can let some of it out.

Oh Laura. I wish I could sit with you and just listen. Or hug as is useful.

If having someone on the other end of the phone, with no agenda or need to comment, please know I am always here.

Bless you for knowing what you can and cannot do, it's so hard, but so, so necessary for everyone.

My heart goes out to you in every possible way.