The boys went directly from breast to sippy cups and it was great for lazy me. No bottles to deal with. I was able to be with them all the time so it was no big deal. Their grandmother really wanted them to wean so she could have them for sleepovers. She was patient.

So despite being sick and feeling like sleeping a lot and still feeling overwhelmed I've managed to contact a health center that does...everything. I'm not sure if it's a federally funded place but they have shrinks and counselors. I need to see a primary first to get a referral if I really need to see one. But the woman I talked to sounded like it would bE a formality. I also got an appointment with a counselor and contacted 2 others. One isn't taking new patients but she gave me the name if someone who might be.

Just realized I need to call United ti make sure that the doctor and counselor are in network.

Still struggling to get Hartford and previous med manager talki.g at this point I haven't been able to get through to the analyst so I'll try again. Or just give up.

I have no idea what I'm getting for my brother or his girlfriend for xmas. Also feeling really anxious right niw so I'm going to figure out something to distract me.

That's sounds very encouraging, askye. Having health care options off the list is a bigee.

No help on the presents stuff. I have managed 1 single gift. For my 2 yo nephew. No one else. I need a personal shopper. I hate shopping and I suck at it.

Me too, Laura. I have a few gifts but not enough. The ones that have to be mailed really should go out today but they probably won't, so that means I'll be mailing stuff Monday at outrageous rates to get them there by Thursday.

I have ideas but either no money or time.

I can take Hartford off the list of calls. They denied the partial benefits claim. Because the meds manager didn't get the info and the case was closed it had to go under medical review and that review determined the wasn't sufficient reason under the policy. They are sending paperwork with all the details. But it probably would have been denied anyway.

I can appeal but I asked about the amount and it would probably be less than $2000. Because it was partial pay. I don't really want to appeal but there's apart of me that says if I don't and I need a similar claim in the future not appealing will be held against me.

And this is triggering all the anxieties of not being believed and that I'm seen as a faker or a fraud. Actually that I am a faker and if I just wasn't lazy and wanted to be okay more I would have been able to work.

Sorry to vent. Im glad I have an in tial appointment with a therapist relatively soon

Ugh askye, I hate that. It's the evil of the bureaucracy. Someone is just pushing through papers and sees this as a rote denial because of course the first recourse is deny every claim. For you, though, it's a trigger. I wish they could see that.

You are not a faker and you are not lazy

I talked to Dad and he pointed out that denial is the first thing Mom was more of course you are going to appeal.

Can't so anything until the paperwork gets here.

After I see the new doctors and get a sense of the support I'm going to look for a job. I keep trying to figure out if I need something low key or its just the anticipatory anxiety that makes every thing seem daunting But I went to town on my own got a slight idea for my brother gf.

I really need to get to a crafts store for something but Wal mart have what I need. So haVing lunch pokE aroud downtown mote then the library and post of and Wal mart

I'm getting my hair colored today for the first time in over a year and TCG is shopping with ltc. Hopefully she doesn't decide she needs to eat while I still have goop on my head.

After talking to some people and doing some research on our own, I think we're going to wait until we hit the 6 month mark to introduce solid foods. Hopefully our ped will understand.

Askye, I'm sorry you have to deal with that BS but it's just stupid bureaucracy. It has nothing to do with the legitimacy of your issues. I'm sorry they're making you feel that way.

It is up to you, not the pediatrician. I can't imagine that you will have any problem with him/her anyway. Lots of parents push them to start early and they may have been reacting to that.

Thanks, Laura. We don't go back until late February anyway and by then we'll have started on food.