My last email to Ginger:

Dear Ginger,

I am just catching up with the Buffistas and with your situation.

If I understand correctly, you have just been moved to hospice care.

I know it is unlikely you will see this email, but I am sending it in the hope that you do. I don't want you to pass. I don't want you to be on hospice care. I want you to be the glorious Ginger I've always known. Smart, funny, and atop all of us.

So, this is me, kissing you, and wishing you the best. You're a wonderful woman and great online friend. I remember you reaching out to me when my anxiety had driven me into a hole.

I remember you reaching out to me, regardless of your own situation. So, my dearest Ginger, I want you to know that you matter. You. as a person in this world, impacted my life. You reached out to me during my dark night of the soul, and you made my life better.

Thank you, my dear. I am sorry I was not able to do better. Love you, so. What a difference you've made in my life.

--Cindy

nice Cindy

back to the other conversation - one of my friends - youngest brother was tied to the poarch - it was the only way to keep him from trying to keep up with the big kids

I got coloring books today -- so pretty .

that a really nice thing - thanks Jilli! I love them

Taking long walks on the beach barefoot in Dec is not a good idea. Well maybe if your further south.

Ive bruised my feet or something. I couldn't figure out why they were so sore but the sand is hard. Much harder than when it's warm and that makes sense.

I've also developed a post nasal drip cough. Which is more annoying than anything. At least I hope it doesn't develop into something more.

Cindy, thank you for sharing that.

Ooooh, Coloring books!

askye, I hope it's just a little allergy.

I'm sure TCG would have the whiskey for me.

That's lovely, Cindy.

Yesh, I don't think it has ever occurred to me to ask an adult woman with a baby if the baby is hers, but it happens all the time.

Yesh, I don't think it has ever occurred to me to ask an adult woman with a baby if the baby is hers, but it happens all the time.

Geez. I mean, I actually do tend not to assume much about any woman-and-baby combo I see out and about unless breastfeeding is actively happening -- there are so many older parents, very young parents, sibs with age gaps, grandparents as primary caregivers, nannies, etc., that I don't presume much of anything. But, for shit's sake, I also don't assume I have any right to demand an explanation of the relationship from any of these women, and I for sure wouldn't be rude enough to express surprise if she offered one anyway. What the actual fuck?

And because it deserves a separate post, Cindy, that is utterly beautiful. And I still can't believe how many people Ginger reached out to and how active she was in so many lives while she had so much of her own to deal with.

That's beautiful, Cindy.

Yes. I think a lot of us could have written something like that; I'm very glad you actually followed through. I've always believed that the thoughts and feelings you direct toward someone, even when they're not here anymore, aren't wasted, aren't worthless; they're going out into the stars where we all began and where we all return to. Those words will reach that stardust and will be heard. I still think at and talk to my mother and brother. I find it very comforting.