In a number of ways it is easier with 2. G will occupy the baby and entertain her.

That is the hope.

I'm not going to talk about packing...

however I realized I should share that I'm moving to Transylvania County North Carolina.

First Bitches post in a while, because I feel the need to share that I've had "Goin' Courtin'" from 7 Brides for 7 Brothers stuck in my head off and on for like 3 days. Could someone please come over here and kick me in the head until it goes away? Ta ever so.

Ugh. I'm annoyed at my father-in-law, and I don't know how much we have to attribute to his dementia worsening, and how much is still not okay.

Every year the whole family picks a day and rakes his leaves. He has a HUGE yard -- it takes 10+ of us hours to do it all. But we bring beer, Tim's dad orders pizza, I make desserts, so it's fun. We're doing it this Saturday.

This year Tim's dad announced that he wants barbecue instead of pizza, and furthermore, his contribution would be a container of cole slaw. The rest of the family can sign up for what they're bringing (including, I assume, the barbecue). I'm annoyed that we're raking his huge fucking yard and he isn't bothering to feed us (except for the cole slaw). (And money isn't an issue here.)

I think that he's conflating this with other family parties, like Christmas, where everyone brings a dish. But shit, man, if your family spends hours raking your huge damn yard, you can't feed them?

But I recognize that I need to let this one go. His dementia is definitely worsening, and trying to explain to him that it's good manners to feed the family who did all your yard work is going to be a losing battle. The rest of the family is okay with bringing food (or isn't going to argue), so I'm just making my desserts and shutting up on this one.

The one I'm not going to let go, though, is that he announced that he doesn't want anyone going in the house. Like, to eat. (We can go in to use the bathroom if we use the one in the basement and take our shoes off before we go in.) There's a big shelter with picnic tables and such next to the house, and when we have parties in the summer, that's where we eat. But it's going to be a HIGH of 49 this Saturday, which is fine for yard work, but not for sitting and eating, especially after the sun goes down.

My guess is that people will just ignore his edict and go inside. I mean, if it's cold, it's cold. But I already told Tim that if we *do* have to eat outside I'm noping out and going home and he can get a ride home from someone else and bring my pie plates with him. I love Tim's dad, but I'm not eating outside when the temperature is in the 40s. No way.

Or am I being whiny and entitled and ridiculous?

Ugh, Steph. I have no advice, but I will offer my experience in that dementia can make someone more rigid and stubborn about the way things have to be done.

I have managed to get up, showered, and dressed, as well as had two cups of tea and breakfast, all before G arrives. As well as all the usual things I do to take care of ltc, who, at least for the moment, is fast asleep.

dementia can make someone more rigid and stubborn about the way things have to be done.

Yeah, I'm definitely seeing that. And my best reaction is that he can require that we eat outside when it's in the 40s, but I don't have to stick around for it. I won't be unkind, but I also am not going to be miserable because of his preference. (I also don't think that *he* will eat outside. I think he doesn't realize what the weather is going to be like Saturday.)

I just need to be sure Tim and I are on the same page, so that he knows I'm serious about me leaving if it gets too cold. I don't want him thinking I'm being melodramatic (what? me???) for effect but that I won't actually follow through. I am miserable when I'm cold. If everyone else wants to eat outside in the 40something-degree weather in the dark, more power to them.

Do you think maybe he doesn't want people inside because his house is messy?

Also, I first read that as doesn't want people to go TO THE BATHROOM inside, which...would be a whole other thing, also.

Do you think maybe he doesn't want people inside because his house is messy?

Possibly, but (1) it's really not messy; (2) he now has a cleaner who comes over once a week, so things are much better; and (3) we've all seen it anyway. (The "mess" consists of piles of mail on the kitchen counter. That's seriously all it is. It's a normal house, not stuffed full of hoarder crap. He never dusted or vacuumed, but now that a cleaner comes over, that's not an issue.)

I'm not sure what his objection is to people coming inside. Maybe I'll have Tim ask him.

I still think, in the end, it will be too damn cold and people will go inside anyway, or leave.

Also, I first read that as doesn't want people to go TO THE BATHROOM inside, which...would be a whole other thing, also.

I think if he could force people to hold it or go to the gas station bathroom, he would.

I didn't mean to imply you should stay, just backing up the idea that it could be because of the dementia with very little logic behind it.

G is so grown up. He never stops talking and asking question. And Fireman Sam has been traded in for Teen Titans Go.