dementia can make someone more rigid and stubborn about the way things have to be done.

Yeah, I'm definitely seeing that. And my best reaction is that he can require that we eat outside when it's in the 40s, but I don't have to stick around for it. I won't be unkind, but I also am not going to be miserable because of his preference. (I also don't think that *he* will eat outside. I think he doesn't realize what the weather is going to be like Saturday.)

I just need to be sure Tim and I are on the same page, so that he knows I'm serious about me leaving if it gets too cold. I don't want him thinking I'm being melodramatic (what? me???) for effect but that I won't actually follow through. I am miserable when I'm cold. If everyone else wants to eat outside in the 40something-degree weather in the dark, more power to them.

Do you think maybe he doesn't want people inside because his house is messy?

Also, I first read that as doesn't want people to go TO THE BATHROOM inside, which...would be a whole other thing, also.

Do you think maybe he doesn't want people inside because his house is messy?

Possibly, but (1) it's really not messy; (2) he now has a cleaner who comes over once a week, so things are much better; and (3) we've all seen it anyway. (The "mess" consists of piles of mail on the kitchen counter. That's seriously all it is. It's a normal house, not stuffed full of hoarder crap. He never dusted or vacuumed, but now that a cleaner comes over, that's not an issue.)

I'm not sure what his objection is to people coming inside. Maybe I'll have Tim ask him.

I still think, in the end, it will be too damn cold and people will go inside anyway, or leave.

Also, I first read that as doesn't want people to go TO THE BATHROOM inside, which...would be a whole other thing, also.

I think if he could force people to hold it or go to the gas station bathroom, he would.

I didn't mean to imply you should stay, just backing up the idea that it could be because of the dementia with very little logic behind it.

G is so grown up. He never stops talking and asking question. And Fireman Sam has been traded in for Teen Titans Go.

Pout. G's dad showed up an hour early. So I only had him for 2 hours and most of that time was spent with him doing homework.

I didn't mean to imply you should stay

I didn't think you did; I was just trying to make myself feel better about my decision by talking about it too much.

K. Just checking. I'm having absolutely no luck communicating properly lately.

Ugh Steph. FWIW that sounds like dementia to me, but I think it's completely reasonable to not want to stick it out in the cold when you have a warm place of your own where you can eat dinner inside.

He's been stubborn in the past about wanting everyone to eat outside when parties are in the summer, and that's weird but fine, because the weather is fine. I wonder if he thinks that we'll make a mess and not clean up? Because that's demonstrably untrue -- we have Christmas at his house, and after dinner he kicks back in his easy chair while we all clean up. He knows we aren't jerks. But maybe his brain isn't letting him remember that.

Tim is taking his dad grocery shopping tonight, so I'll nudge Tim to ask why exactly we have to eat outside and to remind him it'll be in the 40s. (I think Tim and his brothers, who are wrangling this whole leaf party, haven't actually thought about the weather either, because they are singularly unable to plan long-term.)

I don't know why he doesn't want someone coming into the house unless his brain is sending him messages that it's hoarder level messy.

As for the weather thing - if he stays inside a lot he's probably ot aware of the weather (I know it's been unseasonably warm). With G'ma in the middle of winter, with snow on the ground, she wouldn't want to put on a coat to go outside because it was warm inside.

And now with Grandma E she was going outside and almost giving herself heatstroke because 1) it was cool inside the house and 2) she's very cold all the time and I don't think her brain was getting the message she was over heating.