Andi, I know that when my hormones are raging, so am I. I catch myself thinking some scary, scary stuff. It's become much more noticeable now that I'm showing other symptoms of perimenopause.

(edited because I grammar good.)

That is very reassuring, Anne. Because looking at those thoughts as a symptom, however uncomfortable, of a natural process is something I can deal with. I think.

WS, that's definitely a symptom of hormonal wonkiness and/or depression. Do you have someone you can talk to?

It's leaf season. Which means that is all TCG has time for for the next several weekends. I love ltc to pieces, but being a sole caregiver during the day is tiring. And I really look forward to a break on the weekends. So, while TCG was taking a break from the leaves I took a shower and went out to get myself a coffee. She was crying and fussy when I got in the shower, but by the time I got out she was asleep. She slept the whole time I was out, and then just as TCG was closing the door to go back outside, she woke up. Seriously, little girl?

I think all of us parents have been there sj, so don't be hard on yourself. You need time to decompress and take care of yourself too so you can take care of her.

Because looking at those thoughts as a symptom, however uncomfortable, of a natural process is something I can deal with. I think.

That is very true for me. When I find myself thinking murderthoughts, I now check my calendar. So far, it's always aligned with PMS. It's much easier to make myself put those thoughts aside and avoid things that trigger them as much as possible (not always possible to avoid stupid drivers, but I've learned not to watch/listen to/read the news at those times).

Andi and Anne, me too. As menopause gets closer, those monthly hormonal changes put terribly violent thoughts in my head. I'm a pacifist who abhors violence. I would never do that, but man, sometimes I get so furious I call in sick with a migraine because I know I can't people today.

Yeah, this stuff as hormonal in nature meshes with my own gut feeling. Thanks.

Hormones are tricky tricksters, and not fun tricksters. I was completely unable to take BCPs back when I was fertile because they put me in a deep horrible depression. When I did the menopause thing they thought I should have some hormone replacement stuff to ease the way (what was I thinking!), and it did the same thing. Ick!

Now granted there is about no medication that actually agrees with me so this should not have been a surprise.

But yeah, hormones, medications, and even diet changes or other things can do the most awful things to your mood.

Also, I realized that in my crazed busyness I had been coming in and catching up reading but not doing the posting stuff.

Thanks, Burrell.

Can I handle a 7 year old while on top of taking care of my almost 3 month old? I guess I'll find out tomorrow because I'm going to be babysitting for G for the first time since ltc was born.

In a number of ways it is easier with 2. G will occupy the baby and entertain her.