I finished another really sucky 16 hour work day. I hate these. At least this is the last one of the semester. Also in a lot of pain -- I probably should have used my walker today, but didn't, and since I was working, the strongest pain reliever I could take was Advil, and that was just not doing it today.
I'd wanted to go to Wizard World in Louisville tomorrow, and see the Arrow cast and J. August Richards, but I don't think I'll be able to, in this much pain. Pain sucks.
That's a bummer Hil, pain does suck
It must be a sign of either extreme stress or maybe hormonal changes that the most horrible thoughts are creeping into my head. When I feel angry and frustrated about the same old things that have angered and frustrated me for a decade, I get an urge to do more horrible, violent things than have popped into my head before. I know people have nasty thoughts that we do not act on, and don't admit to thinking. It's part of being human. I accept that part of myself. But this is a whole different level. And now I feel stressed about not just the thing that has me angered and frustrated but also about whatever the hell is wrong with me.
Andi, I know that when my hormones are raging, so am I. I catch myself thinking some scary, scary stuff. It's become much more noticeable now that I'm showing other symptoms of perimenopause.
(edited because I grammar good.)
That is very reassuring, Anne. Because looking at those thoughts as a symptom, however uncomfortable, of a natural process is something I can deal with. I think.
WS, that's definitely a symptom of hormonal wonkiness and/or depression. Do you have someone you can talk to?
It's leaf season. Which means that is all TCG has time for for the next several weekends. I love ltc to pieces, but being a sole caregiver during the day is tiring. And I really look forward to a break on the weekends. So, while TCG was taking a break from the leaves I took a shower and went out to get myself a coffee. She was crying and fussy when I got in the shower, but by the time I got out she was asleep. She slept the whole time I was out, and then just as TCG was closing the door to go back outside, she woke up. Seriously, little girl?
I think all of us parents have been there sj, so don't be hard on yourself. You need time to decompress and take care of yourself too so you can take care of her.
Because looking at those thoughts as a symptom, however uncomfortable, of a natural process is something I can deal with. I think.
That is very true for me. When I find myself thinking murderthoughts, I now check my calendar. So far, it's always aligned with PMS. It's much easier to make myself put those thoughts aside and avoid things that trigger them as much as possible (not always possible to avoid stupid drivers, but I've learned not to watch/listen to/read the news at those times).
Andi and Anne, me too. As menopause gets closer, those monthly hormonal changes put terribly violent thoughts in my head. I'm a pacifist who abhors violence. I would never do that, but man, sometimes I get so furious I call in sick with a migraine because I know I can't people today.
Yeah, this
stuff
as hormonal in nature meshes with my own gut feeling. Thanks.